Today was Wee

So I'm pretty sure that I can't get any sleep until I proclaim how awesome God is.

For those who don't know, I preached my very first sermon. Bona-fide, authentic, preaching, and God definitely worked through me in a way I didn't expect. I was shocked, amazed, at what God had been saying through me. I had so many people tell me that I did a good job, but all I could say is that it belonged to God. Jerry himself was like, "I was amazed at what came out of your mouth." Well he isn't alone. I was grateful that God was speaking to me, I was preaching to myself more than anything, because it was on things I was going through, and it led to people coming up for prayer, I was SHOCKED!! God blew me out of the water with His blessing and I cannot take any credit for any word I spoke. I only hope I can continually give Him full reign over my words in the sermons to come.

I was glad my parents were there to hear my first sermon. That meant a lot to me.

So basically, everyone was amazed at what I said, and I said what God told me, so everyone was amazed at the message God had for them. I am glad that He used me, and I hope he continues. At it seems a little direction has been given to me. In fact it was rather point blank, weee. I hope I can get a recording so I can see how to improve, and also, it might sound weird, so I won't forget the first experience of God using me in a way that was visible to me.

K I'm going to bed. As the proverb says "do not praise yourself with words, allow others to do so." I'm paraphrasing, but eh, you get the point. Nighty Night.

What If This Was Someone You Knew?

Today was interesting.

This last week, this week, and next week are all part of the missions rally here at Crossroads Fellowship, and we did something completely new for a missions rally. It was definitely an unusual, and non-traditional setting. The group titled it Coffee and Conversations. We basically set up our sanctuary like a coffee house. I really liked it a lot. And of course there would be nothing to do with the missions rally if they didn't share what is going on around the world and stuff right? Well I didn't know what they were going to talk about, but what they did share made me cry.

They talked about the Sex Trade that so many women and girls get sold into. Thousands of women are sold into the sex trade on a daily basis. The majority of this is located in southeast Asia, but it is a very real issue in most every part of the world. I think the average day involved a woman being with around 25 men a day. They are raped, molested, abused, the list goes on and on. I cannot see how people can be so cruel to each other. There are girls, some as young as 10 years old being sold into this slave/trade enterprise, and even more heinous is that they are just as involved into the sexual acts as the women who are in their late teens and early twenties. I am horrified, and deeply saddened at the state our world is in.

Yet again, a portion of my paradigm on life has completely shifted. This is a good thing, but sometimes it has to come in painful ways. This was a semi-painful experience, because my heart bleeds for these people. No woman should have to be forced to have sexual relations with another person. Harems, brothels, street prostitution, it's all disgusting, and deeply scarring to the people who have to do it for a living. Some people say that maybe that is their only way of making ends meet. I say, there is always a better solution, and if they haven't found it, then maybe we should be that better solution.

So many men treat women like they are sex goddesses, or as a trophy to claim that they've caught. It's no wonder so many women hate men, I want to hate us too. They become an idol in the life of the men who chase after them, and women too can be found to be in idolatry when they are relying on their significant other to be their fulfillment. Why can't we run to God for fulfillment?

I don't really know where I was going with that. I need sleep, I'm tired, and need to get up semi-early tomorrow. Night folks.

Why are we stupid?

So I sit here, just chillaxin and about to watch a movie shown on the Disney Channel when I start to remember of all the things I've learned about my friends lives in the past weekend and it makes my heart ache. I love each and every one of my friends dearly, and I wish I could have gone to AWA with them, but still, I was glad to not have been there to a small degree this year. I have had multiple friends tell me how horrible their experience was because of two of my friends specifically being rude and completely inconsiderate of others. I am not going into detail, because it's not my place. But I am giving a small bit of information as a form of catharsis. I was so shocked to hear about them doing this, that I couldn't believe it the first time I heard it from someone. They have never acted that way before, as far as I can see, this was a new aspect of them I had never seen. Maybe we never really saw that in them because they didn't act that way towards us. Then what presented the opening of our blindness? It hurt even worse to hear of how they didn't give the people they called friends the time of day. One friend's birthday was completely forgotten about. *sigh*

I just don't understand why we as humans can be so fickle and vain. Thank God I am not God, haha I think I would have given them a spiritual backhand a while ago. But then again, I would have done the same to me. In fact, I think He already has a couple of times in the past.

Love... I don't have it, but God gives it to me. That's why I find it hard to hate people, and know that loving is hard to follow up on. I don't know if I'm making any sense. I guess I'm just rambling. k night.

Are You A Good Person?

I realize that my concerns for my family and friends on this issue may be unnecessary, but still I feel that I must post this for fear of my own conscience exploding.

Whether you believe a Christian, or not, the problem still remains. Are you really?

Let me just ask a few questions. I ask them because we will all be judged by God on Judgment Day according to the Ten Commandments, and it will be those very things that will condemn us to Hell.

Do you think you have kept the Ten Commandments?

Have you ever told a lie? That would make you a liar.

have you ever stolen anything, regardless of size or value (pen from work, answers off another persons test, cookies when mom wasn't looking, etc.)? That would make you a thief..

How about adultery? Jesus himself said, "You've heard it said in days of old 'you shall not commit adultery', but I tell you that anyone who looks on a woman with lust is guilty of adultery with her in his heart." Are you guilty of lust? Then you are an adulterer.

Have you ever used God's name in vain? That is called blasphemy. We are using the name of the very God who created us and gave us life and substituting it for some 4 letter word to describe disgust or filth.

So if you admit to these things, then you would be a lying thieving blasphemous adulterer at heart, and God is going to judge you according to that on Judgment Day. If you were judged today do you think you would be innocent or guilty? Would you go to heaven or hell?

If you think you would go to heaven, let me ask you something. If something was stolen from your house, would you want that person to come under justice and be punished for his crimes? If the judge is a good judge he will do just that, how much more so will God judge us for every little thought, action, even every word? God is furious with us and our sin.

If you are going to Hell then are you concerned about it? Do you not fear your very life and the eternal consequences of your heinous crimes against God? Do you want to change that?

God sent His one and only son, Jesus, to die on the Cross for the crimes, the sins, of the world. He died to save you from the destiny of eternal punishment, and torment in Hell. All He asks you to do is to repent and have faith in Him. Have faith in the one who saved you and confess Him as your Lord and Savior.

If you are truly repentant then God will hear your prayer and enter into your life, saving you from most certain death.

Again, maybe my concerns are unneeded, but I would hate to see you burn eternally in Hell when I knew I could do something to change it. I would hate to see you in eternal punishment period.

Thanks for reading through this all the way. I hope that it has helped you, and if you already are a born-again believer, share this with those who aren't.

Much Love to you all.

OH NOES BRAIN APLODE!!

I have a lot on my mind lately, and yet, I can't even bring it into a comprehensible conglomeration of anything. Not even a pile of mess, just one big chaotic vortex. Today was the first day of the missions conference we are having at our church. We had a missionary talk to us for a few minutes over the internet... one of those video teleconference things. It was really cool, and good to see how God is working over there in Mongolia. And then this evening Larry talked about being there for each other. He used a passage in Ecclesiastes that was talking about how two are better than one. He did a good job, and it played right into the missions theme we had, which was completely unintentional, and I find that even more amazing. God used his message and gave him that message before he even knew how it was coming to come out... fascinating.

I actually had a peculiar thought this morning. It could be nothing, or it could be a huge change in my life. When watching one of videos, I had a sudden urge to learn counseling and go to Chile to become a marriage counselor, because Chileans have a 50% divorce rate. 1/2 of all the people who get married will get divorced, that's so sad! Again, random thought.

The AC isn't working in the house right now >_< and boy is it HOOOTT!! I think the last time I saw the thermometer it said the house was at 90 degrees! But even in all this heat, I am content.

I probably did something completely dangerous spiritually today. I told God to break me. I asked Him, begged Him to do it. I feel like I need it. I'm tired of getting the glancing blows, and just gotten to the point where I'm like "God, just hit me." I know I need it, and I guess getting to the point of brokenness is also getting to the point of understanding the abundant life that God has promised us. I don't think I ever reached that stage of "going into the deeper life" and I think that is where a lot of my problems come from. Then again, who knows. Maybe I experienced it before, but I just need to get back into it.

I have to preach next Sunday evening. I am completely unprepared, and at the same time, my message is already complete. I don't really understand how that works, but God has it, and I know that if it is in His hands then it will be what He wants it to be; regardless of length or word play.

I guess I got my thoughts out now... huzzah!

Epic Weddings

So today was pretty good. I got up around 8am for practice at church which started at 9am and we went over this and that. I thought it went really well, and I think I'm beginning to mesh in with the group and able to follow the way it's headed very well.

Then I spent most of the afternoon playing Kingdom Hearts II.... I forgot how much I HATE Atlantica... "worst world evar!!!"

Then, the best part about today, is that I got to go to a wedding at the church. I don't the couple very well, but from what I do know of them, they are some pretty cool people. The wedding was unlike any I had been to. They even had communion served, which was pretty awesome! The reception afterwards was an actual dinner, I was shocked. It was tasty. I even got to drink some sparkly grape juice ^_^

I also caught the garner... although that really wasn't that hard to do since I was the only single man there. >_< I don't know if that constitutes a good thing or not haha.

ONE MORE THING...
I thought I was going to Epic this year... I was really looking forward to it, but unfortunately Jerry said no, because he wasn't going to have many people left on his worship team if I left. Most of the worship team people are leaders that are going. Which kicks me out.... and Tsunami is up in that air as well. That makes me a little upset, but I guess I will just have to get used to it. Sorry guys. Erik, will you tell Cristina for me? Appreciate it!

Trusting God

I find it hard to trust God sometimes, don't you? I mean, so often we say, "God is in control," or "The Lord will provide. He's our Jehova Jira." And we say it to other people meaning full-heartedly, and it IS true, but I think that many times we don't believe it in our hearts. It is only a head knowledge. When push comes to shove we find ourselves hesitant to trust God with anything. We just have to have control of our own lives. We want our lives to go right, and we oftentimes forget that it is us who are the problem.

God has been really "hammering" it into me about trusting Him lately. I mean, my car was working off and on for about a month (thankfully though it is finally fixed, thanks to God's provision through parents ^_^), starting next month I will be giving more than I feel that I can financially afford in my tithe because God has asked me to, and then there is the feeling that God is being silent on certain questions that I have been asking Him. What does my ministry look like (just a hint... please?)? Is the girl I'm dating now the girl I'm going to marry? What should I even focus my attention on in college, what major? And, of course, this is all future focused, but who doesn't want at least a little direction? Besides, what I plan on doing in the future affects how I act now. Knowing what my ministry may look like will affect how I study, and who I marry affects how I treat other women (should I continue to seek that "perfect girl" or should I fence myself off?). Do you see what I mean? These are valid and logical things to be concerned about, but I have no answers to them. Ever feel like that?

And then there are comments people make, whether they said it off-handedly, were serious, or just goofing off, it can seriously affect our thought patterns. We may want to trust ourselves in doing something more than trusting God. We ask God to help us with the big things, but so often not the small things; and it's easy to trust Him with the small things sometimes, but hard to trust with the big things. Why can't we trust Him with all things?

For instance, tithing. Say you get payed $1,000 a month. You pay room and board for $700, and you give $100 for tithe, which leaves you with a mere $200 for whatever you may need (gas, car repairs, clothes, etc.) You feel like you have hardly any money for yourself right? Now let's throw God into the mix by him asking you to give an additional $50 to the Great Commission Fund in order to help out a missionary. What is your reaction? My initial reaction would probably be along the lines of, "God I can't do that, I wouldn't have enough money for a month's worth of gas. I barely have enough now!" But God gives us a promise concerning tithes in Malachi 3:10:

Bring the full tithes into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the LORD of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need.

So He tells us that He will bless us until there is no more need. Obviously, He is going to cover your costs. God is not a poor God, and how many times do we forget that? He has an infinite supply of riches that He can give to provide for our lack.

As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy.
1 Timothy 6:17

I don't want this to be just about money. We should trust Him with Everything.

casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:7

He isn't going to let us down. Both Philippians 3:3-4 and 1 Corinthians 1:9 talk about not relying on ourselves, on our flesh, to do things right, to make things work, but to fully rely on God.

So whether it is getting up early every morning and spending an hour in prayer and reading the Bible, or if it is giving/buying a car for someone who needs it, or even paying for their repairs, God has your back. Whether it is ending friendships because they are leading you down a path that can't be good morally, physically, or spiritualy; or staying in the army for 4 more years, whatever God has you doing, you should do with faith and hope that God is going to protect you, and use you, and bless you for your obedience. Wherever we are, we are there for a reason.

"Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the LORD GOD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation."
Isaiah 12:2

He is our strength, we have no need to fear. We have to ourselves out of the way and allow Him to do what He wants in our lives.

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."

Hebrews 13:5

He will never leave nor forsake us. So why should we be worried about money? I'm not saying we should spend the money recklessly, that is poor stewardship of what we have been given, but I am saying that if God asks us to do something we should do it without worry, fear, and without argument. I know that is not easy. I constantly find myself arguing with God about what He is asking me to do (very much like Moses), but what matters the most is if I obey Him. Either He is my Master and I serve Him, or He is no one and I serve myself. We cannot server ourselves if He is our Master, if we are His slaves we don't need to worry about us. He is going to take care of us and bless us for serving Him.

And God's provision will oftentimes come in ways we do not expect, and certainly doesn't look like anything we may hope for; but the provision is still there and god is not going to let His sons and daughters be forgotten.


This is kind of a "sermonette" of what I'm working on for my first "sermon" that I will be preaching in two weeks. It may be 10 minutes long, it may be 2 hours... I doubt it though. Hopefully it will fall in at least 20 haha. So this is my experience mixed with my need to prepare a sermone mixed with my thoughts on life, etc. Tis all, kbye!