Positing on Grace

I have been thinking about grace a lot lately.  In fact, I have been meaning to write my thoughts on it about two weeks ago but I allowed other things to consume my time and attention. Naturally, I suppose it's best to start with a definition of what I mean by grace.  I looked at a few definitions but none of them really fit what I am talking about. They are not bad definitions by any means but it also isn't quite what I had in mind. So here is what I've come up with in hopes of simple clarification.

Grace - Unearned, undeserved, and unachievable favor granted to another because of a genuine love held for that other.

I kept the divine out of my definition because I do believe it is possible for someone to show this grace to another; usually it goes hand in hand with mercy but evidence does exist.  However, I am referring specifically to the divine; God's grace in regards to humanity.

Something that has occurred to me lately is that the only religion (that I am aware of) that preaches grace is Christianity.  The rest all teach good works, or some type of deed that has to be accomplished.  Do so many prayers, perform so many good deeds, give so much money and maybe, just -maybe-, it will be enough to get another life, the after-life, the heaven equivalent.  On the other end, Christianity preaches that there isn't a need for good works to reach eternal life, that we are granted this entrance by simply believing that Jesus was who he said he was and allowing him to be the Lord in our life.

Just reading over the previous description makes me feel that it is pretty obvious that this good works mindset can be pretty stressful since there really isn't even any type of guarantee of success, whereas allowing this Jesus power to do all the redeeming required to enter into that heaven is much more freeing.

I realize that previous statement is probably incredibly subjective, but the heart of the question and point remains: Do the work ourselves, or let someone else do it for us?

I'm sure that my readers know by now, but I truly believe there is nothing we can do that will ever be enough to gain the rights to an eternal life.  Just taking a look at the news on any given day and you can see how messed up humanity really is.  We constantly compare ourselves to others to justify our own lifestyle choices.  I can attest that I have had my own thoughts of "Well, at least I don't do [that]"  or "-I- would never," etc.  And if we are honest with ourselves, we've all got things we don't want others to know about because we know we aren't as good as we like to pretend we are.  In short, if we rely on our own power and goodness we fall horribly, horribly short with no hope of success.

But, that's the bad news.

The good news is the message of grace.

I'm sure you've all heard it.  Jesus, also called Christ by many, came to earth living a righteous, perfect, sinless life and acted as the end all solution for humanity so that eternal life becomes attainable.  Jesus does all the work on our behalf and through his intercession we have hope.

That is the true beauty of Grace.  We don't have to stress ourselves out trying and trying to be enough.  It will never happen.  However, God's grace through Jesus makes us enough.  When we come to understand and accept this then we find that we can do and be good because we want to.  Because, we are so changed by the grace that has saved us from a life enslave by worry and hopelessness, that we can't help but share the grace, peace, and hope that we experience.

You see, I believe there is this huge misconception about Christianity.  Many believe it is this huge list of rules and thus you can't have any fun but I find the opposite to be true.  These aren't rules I have to follow.  I -choose- to do so because it is the least I can do for the person who saved me and saves me daily.  What's more it is my pleasure to do so because it benefits not only me but those around me.

After all, Grace, peace and Love is and has always been the message.

Grace and Peace.

Complacency is Too Comfortable

Some days it is hard not to feel like I’m stagnating in my life.  Day in and day out I go through the same routine, week after week little changes.  Sometimes I wonder if it is okay for my life to be so mechanic or if I need to be looking into something to change it.  Complacency is such a dangerous place to be.   Complacency has a tendency to lead to a type of emotional and spiritual atrophy that I would hate to see in myself as I have seen it in others.

The thing is, there is always something to learn about myself, about the world I live in, and especially about others (even my own wife still surprises me frequently).  I know that there are things that I can change about myself that improve myself and my humanity.  There are things I can do for other people to improve the world (and I do what I can, but sometimes I think I could do more).  So, there is really no reason to become complacent with where I am. 

I find consistently find myself thinking of ways to take advantage of my passions and of my skills.  I know that where I am in life I don’t want to be for the rest of my life.  Sure, I make enough to somehow pay all my bills and somehow pull off date time with my wife without overdrawing on my account, but it is such a close budget I have to watch where every penny goes.  It’s annoying.  I would much rather be in a position where I can still adequately take care of my family but don’t have to be a penny pincher to do it (and I’d probably give the rest away anyway to help give people clean water, or help students through college since tuition is terrible right now, etc).

Sadly, most of this isn’t quite within my circle of influence, but I can start making changes today to get me there.  I need to battle the complacency.

I can start with the things I want to change in myself and go from there.  It’s always better to work from the inside out and not worry about others.  I’ve learned over the years that you can never change other people, you can only change yourself.  As I make more and more changes that improve my lifestyle, my health, my relationships, my skills, etc. the more my circle of influence will slowly expand until I have control over the things that I need to be where I wish to be.

Funnily enough, I’m sure the moment I get where I want to be now, I’ll have found other things to achieve and improvements to be made.  A never ending cycle of growth, success, growth.  Sure I’ll have days when I fall, when I fail, and even back step from time to time, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t pursue it.  We all have things we want that we could achieve if we allow ourselves to push past the uncomfortable and the painful things that will stand in our way.

Change is never easy, but it is good for us.  Humanity can’t live on complacency.  We are so much better than that.

Just some random thoughts for a Friday.

Grace and Peace.

Relationships with God and Others (Part 3?)

Have you ever mused over a relationship (or multiple relationships) and come to some kind of understanding of God because of it?

That's pretty much what happened to me the other night. My wife and I decided we need to take a break from the chaos that has become our life and after enjoying a pleasant viewing of a movie (Planes if you must know) we wound our way to a restaurant where we spent a while just chatting a little bit about everything. It was just a time to get away from everything and be with each other.

By the way, if you are in a relationship, days like this are essential.

Regardless, we were discussing some our frustrations with different people we knew and the more I talked with her the more I realized that the way I felt is very much how God felt when dealing with the Israelites, or more personally myself.

How many times do we take for granted what is given to us? I live in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife and sometimes I neglect to remember that God is the one who put me where I am today.

How often do I, complain about things that in the grand scheme of things mean nothing at all? How often do I completely ignore the blessings that have been bestowed upon me?

All too often.

To make a comparison: We are like a bunch of kids who are upset because we don't get everything we want, even though we get way above what we need.

For instance, I can think of many different people I've met over the years who would complain that their parents/significant other/friends don't care about them because they won't give them what they wanted.

Teenagers think their parents will never understand them and think they are horrible because they got an iPhone 3 instead of an iPhone 5. One friend might think another friend doesn't care because they don't agree on something. A woman may think a man doesn't care because he doesn't meet all the expectations (usually unspoken) she has of him or vice versa.

We are incredibly fickle people, and honestly when I encounter people like that it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. When I think about it I quickly find myself seeking forgiveness for doing the same with God.

Just think about it for a moment. The people of Israel are coming to the Tabernacle daily to offer this huge bloody mess that becomes a sacrifice to God who dwells in the Holy of Holies. They have been doing this so consistently that it has become a little trivial, and has lost the specialness that came with it in the beginning. People begin to offer prayers and offerings to God to get things they want. Petty things that have no significance on their lives. And God finally speaks up and essentially says, “Sacrifices aren't important to me, what is important is the heart behind them. I want you fully. I don't want just a part of you that comes to me to 'appease' me. That's not how this works. I expect complete, total, raw authenticity when you come to me.”

And then gain when speaking to the church later in the letter John wrote to the churches. “You're neither hot nor cold.” or You don't heal or refresh, you do nothing because you forgot me and why you are even where you are today. “Since you are neither hot nor cold, I will spew you (essentially vomit you) out of my mouth.”

Ever have lukewarm coffee? You know the way it tastes when you let coffee sit for more than ten minutes (unless you have one of those thermal cups)? Pretty disgusting isn't it?

Or how about a nice cold cup of chocolate milk that has sat out to long now isn't really hot either? So it's not as warm as hot chocolate or as delicious as cold chocolate milk, it's disgustingly warm (unfortunately I've had the displeasure of experiencing that one personally).

The same can be true when it comes to relationships: Parents with kids; friends; husbands and wives. There are times when someone's complaints or ungratefulness can feel a lot like a bad stench that permeates a room, or that disgusting lukewarm flavor that leaves a bad aftertaste and had nothing tasty about it in the first place.

I begin to see what God meant when he said those things. I begin to understand more his love and simultaneous frustration with people. We are so stupid sometimes and sometimes we are so brilliant.

I know we've all heard it a hundred times though.

“America is so blessed, we have so much.”

“Get your head out of your butt and look around you. You aren't suffering that much.”

“Need to get over yourself.”

While true, they are phrases that get a little stale, so it was interesting to experience it on a more personal level.

Just figured I would share my thoughts for a beautiful Friday.

Grace and Peace.

Strangeness

There is a certain strangeness that happens when I learn of sad things.

Not things that hit close to home like the death of a loved one or something else that might directly involve me, but rather the things that you might hear about on the news or in passing conversation.

For example, this week in Birmingham a UPS plane went down just outside the Birmingham Airport.  Even now we aren’t fully aware of what really happened, but the pilots died and there were a few explosions involved as well.  The story is tragic, especially for the families that have to now deal with the recent loss.

What makes the strangeness is that there is no feeling on my end.  It is a bit of a dichotomy because I do hope that the families will be okay and get through the loss without too much scarring or damage (those who encounter a death are never left untouched), but I also don’t really do anything different.  I have a brief conversation with a few sentences that typically follow an “Oh, really?  That sucks!” line of thought and then go about my day.

What makes the strangeness stranger is that when you go outside and nothing seems different it can make things seem a little distorted, or even off-kilter.  At least, that’s what happens to me.  My brain likes to trick me into feeling like if I walk out the door I’m going to see something directly connected to the event even if the event took place miles and miles away.  Crazy brain, right?

But it got me thinking.  How often does something happen that I’m completely unaware of?  I’m not talking everyday life things, but big things, important things.  What if, right now, there was someone in the Czech Republic who is crashing into a US Embassy vehicle, killing one of the Ambassadors?  What if, her in the United States, someone is slowly killing off the various judges in our court system?  Etc.

I’m not saying I think people are doing that, but it was something that crossed my mind.  How many people are dealing with horrible things in their lives right now?  Way more than I could keep up with I’d wager.  I have gotten so desensitized to most of everything these days thanks to the plethora of information I have so readily available.  It’s great, but it’s also numbing.  The crazy thing too, is I don’t know if our minds could physically handle the stress of having all that knowledge packed into it.  I think, being desensitized is a form of the body’s defense to keep it healthy.

Maybe.

Just a couple thoughts anyway.

Grace and Peace

Customer Service

Customer service is a field where you will either hate your job, or love it while experiencing both love and hate for people in the same day.

Having worked in the Customer Service department for the past 3 years I have to say that no other job is quite like it (though, looking back on that statement I suppose the same could be said for every field of work).

My point is, it is a unique experience that you have to have be built to do.  Whether it's through a call for tech support, working with people through email, or even more directly in a face to face fashion there are so many things that the individual acting as the customer service rep (CSR) has to keep in mind.

The customer doesn't understand your service/product the way you do (unless they've been doing business with your company for a while).

The customer will get upset at you if you mislead them in anyway (even accidentally).

The customer wants to hear confidence and been shown that you are knowledgeable.

Tone will make or break an interaction with a customer (this is especially hard to maintain and interpret via text mediums like email).

The list goes on.

The problem with Customer Service is that no matter what your job is, what title you hold, there is some aspect of customer service that everyone must exude.  Be it with other employees (yes, they can be customers too at times) or with clients of any kind.  No one is exempt from the rules that come from being a CSR.  However, those who work in some type of CSR position (help lines, tech support, order entry, retail, etc) know exactly how mentally tiring it can be to always be on guard with themselves.  

In case I'm not making it clear, being a CSR is incredibly hard work.  You wouldn't think so, but it is.  So please, as customers be willing to give us some flexibility and don't scrutinize every little thing like so many are apt to do.

That said, I have come across my fair share of poor customer service.

I don't care how you feel about someone.  I don't care if you don't like the melanin of their skin, the color of their hair, their appearance, their smell, or if you just feel "too tired to deal with it", there is never a good reason to treat someone giving your company business with anything less than the utmost respect.  

These people who are coming in are what allow you to get paid.  They are, in essence, writing your paycheck.  

On the other side of that coin, you represent the company you work for.  If you give that company a bad name by giving bad service, you will be terminated from employment eventually.

Yes, I know.

The customer is not always right.  Sometimes the customer will act like they have a vendetta against the human race.  Sometimes they will act like they have a 2nd grade education.  Sometimes they are incredibly particular or picky.

Deal with it.

That's your job.

If you can't handle working with a variety of people and treat them all equally with respect and general pleasant attitude then customer service is not the job for you and you should find another job that you'll enjoy soon.

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh.  I'm not trying to come across that way.  But I've always been of the opinion you should do a job you enjoy.  I understand there are the "crap" jobs we take to get by, but always be looking for the job you want. If you really want it, you'll get it.

I just feel like there is no excuse for some of the service I've personally received and others' stories (oh the stories!) make me shudder in dismay.  Being a CSR can be a thankless job but it is one that keeps businesses running!  That role is important, and thus is powerful.

So, it may not mean much coming from a fellow CSR but "hat's off" to all who work in the field.  I respect your work and request that you keep it up and not fall into the "poor service" category.

Just a few thoughts.

Grace and Peace.

Point of No Return

This weekend has been full of surprises, and most of them have direct consequences of choices I made.  While I wouldn’t say it has been bad, I definitely wouldn’t say it’s been great either.  I have crossed a few thresholds in my life, and as always with those aspects of life, once you cross it, there is no turning back.  Things will never be the same for better or worse.

If you will permit the analogy, the ripple in the water has begun to move its way outward.

As a result I find myself constantly distracted by my thoughts.  Asking questions in a “what if” fashion.  What if ‘x’ and how would I feel if ‘x’ happened?

My answers startle me.

Which is what leads to this posting.

Is it possible that certain changes that need (yes, need) to happen have to result as a consequence that is out of your control?  I wonder.  As I have gotten older, my ability to jump right into to something has toned down a bit, but there is still an incredibly impulsive part of me.  This impulsiveness, naturally, follows the guidelines “shoot first ask questions later”; however, this is not the best way to live and often will get me into trouble.  That being said, I think sometimes, no matter how much you think about something, you just have to jump into the potentials feet first and see what happens.

For people who like to know everything, and maintain control through that knowledge (such as myself), this is not ideal at all.

I don’t handle unknown well, especially when it directly involves me.

Example:  When/if I ever finish the book I’m working on.  I would wager that my submission of manuscript will look something like a range of emotions from excited to submit, to fear of rejection (which is basically inevitable by the way), to a void of emotions while waiting for feedback, to trepidation as I read that response.   It is all unknown and sometimes stressful.

In the same breath, not being in control can be incredibly freeing.

I’m not sure where I stand on this spectrum.  However, I do know that now that I have crossed these certain points, marks, thresholds, insert your own analogy, I cannot afford to look back thinking how I wish I was back on the other side; what good would it do me anyway?

No I must press on with renewed vigor and compassion.

Of course, that is much easier to say than to do.  It will take getting used to, and I’m terrified.  I feel like I’m clinging to a rope on a suspension bridge, and the only thing I can do is cross or stay in that state forever.

Jumbled musings of a 25 year old I guess.

Grace and Peace.