3 years huh?

It's hard to imagine how much life has blown by in three years.

I have a daughter who is now three years old.  She is beautiful, and she is a handful, and there are days where the last thing I want to do is be an invested and intentional father.  But, I would not change having her in my life for anything in the world.

My wife started going back to school during these past three years.  To say that has been stressful would be an understatement.  But, to watch that look of fulfillment and joy on her face as she excitedly explains all she has been learning makes every tear, every drop of sweat or restrained comment from frustration worth it.

3 years feels like a long time, and yet, it is so short.

During this time we've watched the Black Lives Matter movement go from an almost unseen organization to a viral cry out for equality.  A movement that not only was a fight against police brutality and favoritism, but also a cry out for the continuation of what the Civil Rights movement was all about. 

I hate to call it "Civil Rights 2.0" because I know it is so much deeper than that, but the core of the message is still the same.

"Every human deserves to be treated with the same dignity and respect as a created being in this universe."

And we (the black community and those who stand with them) will not take the abuse any longer.

In these short years, we have had families fighting amongst themselves on whether kneeling during the national anthem is disrespectful "to the flag" (or rather what it represents) or not.  Even though, the heart of the protest was never about the flag.

And it even led to the dismissal of professional NFL players.

It has even led to the association that runs the NFL to attempt to silence their right to freedom of speech, because so many people get offended.  Because we keep trying to make it about the nation, those who served, and ignore what it is really about.

I realize I don't carry the popular opinion.  And, in a lot of ways this argument I'm making is the same that countless others have made before me.  But still I type these words because the issue is still very real, even if the media doesn't cover it as much.

Our president has seen to that.  And since I don't want to open that bag of worms I'll end this rambling here.

See you in another three years I suppose.

Grace and Peace

Has Feminism Lost It's Touch?

It's been a while since I've posted on this blog.  I've mostly been trying to post consistently on my wordpress page for those interested in stories, video games, and storytelling in games.  But I do not want to abandon this blog just for that one.  It's more of a content management deal.  That blog is more about expressing ideas that I find interesting and that might help others while this one is my own musings about anything in general.

Today's Topic?  Feminism.


I can already feel the icy stares that come with even mentioning the word, but it has been so in my face lately that I felt a need to put my own two cents into the already large festering pot of opinions concerning feminism and what it should look like.

Now before I begin, let me start with my understanding of the word.

Feminism: the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.

 By that definition anyone who holds to this doctrine can be considered a feminist.  So, please believe me when I say I am all for women being treated equal to men in their value and their rights.

I completely agree that women should be able to get a job and expect to get paid the same amount a man would make in that same position.  I completely agree that women are overly sexualized and it needs to stop.  I agree, 100%.

But.

It feels like there have been a lot of "movements" lately that aren't really about the equality and more about gaining attention, and it is such a fine line.  It's the ever constant pendulum effect that plagues humanity.  One thing is too much so we swing back to the other extreme and I feel like feminism as it is has the potential to become that extreme opposing view.

One particular facet of the feminists I have run into is this odd double standard.  They expect to be treated equally, but there is an expectation of special treatment as well.  On the one hand, these individuals want to be able to have all the same rights as men ("I'll open my own door thank you") but when men do treat them equally there are complaints about it.  It definitely sends out mixed signals.

I came across this movement recently where some of the more extreme feminists were encouraging all women to get rid of their "sexy underwear" and wear what have been termed "granny panties" for years because women should be able to wear the latter and still be seen as attractive or at the very least should not be judged on the underwear they choose to don on their bodies.

I get it.  Men and women are both people, and a woman's worth should not be based on how she dresses.

I get it.  Women have been ushered into this narrow path of what is acceptable to society and we need to break those restraints.

However, when women who don't follow a movement like that because they actually like the way the "sexy underwear" makes them feel are accused of not really being feminists, it seems a bit extreme.

Perhaps, I am showing my ignorance in all of this rambling, but it just seems to me that there has got to be a better way to break down these social barriers without leaving such a negative feeling behind.  Wouldn't it be better to fight about things a little more important than underwear choice?

If you don't believe me that feminism is turning into a bully, take a look at this website.  Hundreds of women have contributed to this website it's pretty eye opening: http://womenagainstfeminism.com/

All of them support equality, they just don't support what feminism is becoming.

Just a few thoughts.

Grace and Peace.

We still need Feminism

Here is an interesting topic for the weekend: Feminism.

For reference to what spurred the topic, check out the article I found –here.

Women have struggled for so many years now to get the equality they so justly deserve.  Unfortunately, while the movement has succeeded in many ways to further that equality there is still a long way to go before we are really on the equal ground we need to be.

Chauvinism is still very rampant in our society.  We just like to hide it under the phrase “just kidding” to help maintain a sense of political correctness.  How many times have I heard another male comment on how a woman belongs barefoot and in the kitchen?  Too many to keep track of.  And yes, sometimes the guys are legitimately just joking, but I feel that (at the risk of being too serious), these jokes should never be funny to anyone. 

To put it simply, chauvinistic jokes are not funny and you should find another genre to joke about if that’s all the material you have.

Women are so much more than just sex dolls that walk.  They have emotions, they can be absolutely brilliant (see our “First Women” in any category you think is a “man’s job”), they are capable and strong, and whether you want to admit it or not, they can kick every single man’s butt if they wanted to.  Women are just as powerful in their own way as men are.

Because that is the beauty of humanity.  We are all so different that we need each and every person to help make the world a better place to live in.  Not just for ourselves, but for those that follow as well.

I do want to point out that when I speak of feminism I am speaking from the definitive understanding as indicated within a dictionary.

The doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.

This is not to be confused with what many might term the “Femi-Nazi”.  These women, while still upholding the core of the feminist movement, tend to act like they would rather men not exist at all.  I’ve known some to get upset at common courtesy (i.e. opening the door for them) and rant that all men are pigs and idiots.  Granted, based on their experiences with men I can understand why they may feel that way.

Still, the fact remains that if feminism’s success was so powerful that it swung the pendulum in the opposite direction we would be in the same boat we are now with the roles reversed.  Which, in my opinion, would be just as detrimental to our communities as the current standing is.  We do not need a patriarchal society, and we do not need a matriarchal society.

We need an equal society. An Omniarchal Society?

That is something I can get behind.

Because I think it is silly to differentiate in title between men and women in their jobs. Reese Witherspoon and Bruce Willis are both Actors; and whether a male or a female is seating me at a restaurant both are my Host.  Why do we need to separate gender like that in our language as well as our society?  Why not just say “she is my waiter?”  Or if you would rather go the other direction “He is my waitress”. 

The reason I say this is to point out that our language is just as important when it comes to reflecting the society we are and the society we want to be.  If we use gender neutral terms, we encourage a better understanding of equality (“Y’all” *shudder* vs. “You guys” for instance).

I also support an Omniarchal society because women are just as strong as men.  In some ways they can be even fiercer then men when it comes to protecting and fighting for what is right (see feminist movement, their ability to pick up the slack during WW1 and WW2, any mother when her child is in danger of anything).

But at the heart of it all, I want equality for women because I want equality for everyone.  Everyone has the right and deserves to be treated with respect.  It shouldn’t matter whether or not you are male or female.  If you can do something I cannot then I give you props.  Men are not superior, but neither are women.  We are all basically the same.

Let’s try to avoid damaging each other out of ignorance or just straight boorishness in the future, okay?

And you lady readers out there, while I’m directing most of my comments to men, the above statement is just as applicable to you.  Just because a man hurt you in the past does not mean all men are like that.  There are several (and I have very good male friends who fit in this category) who are proud to stand with women in their fight for equality and will do everything they can to treat women right.  So ease up on the man hating, okay?

Time to check out.

Grace and Peace