An Open Letter to the Church

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(This post was copied from my wordpress blog)

I've been mulling over my thoughts and feelings for the past few days now and I think I'm finally ready to express what has become a very serious concern for me. So, I present this very open letter to anyone who claims to be a believer in Christ, and more specifically, to the church as an institution.

With everything that has been going on lately, I've really had to re-examine myself and my actions. Consequently, this also led to my observations of the church as a whole. This is where my struggle begins.

We have failed our mandate.

I am grieved by the state of the church today. I weep whenever I see hate, sorrow, anxiety, impatience, harshness, hypocrisy, and pride take priority within the church. We unabashedly spew injustice, legalism, and dogma to those we were called to love and then wonder why church attendance is so low.

How easily we have forgotten that the very core of our story, the Gospel, only begins with the sacrifice Jesus made for us. It continues with his life, his teachings and his examples. He exemplified the very virtues that we should try to uphold every single day: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

He condemned no one, but offered his loving embrace and Truth to anyone who was willing to listen. He had compassion.

Yet, time and time again I watch in horror as those who are supposed to be the embodiment of all this good fall into the exact opposite. How little we cried out against the wrongs of our history, but how quickly we were to point accusatory fingers at others for their wrongs.

We sat idly by as organizations like Westboro Baptist Church openly harassed members of the LGBTQ+ community, and even showed our solidarity with them during events like "Chik-fil-a Day" (Remember that day in 2012?). Or, how about those times we made Kaepernick's peaceful protest about #blacklivesmatter, about him "disrespecting the flag". We ignore the fact (or at least, pretend it's not as bad as it seems), that people are abused and rejected by the church because of some imagined or real sin. If a person makes us uncomfortable, we shut them out.

I have never been more ashamed of my association with the word Christian as I am today. If you happen to be reading this and have been hurt by a "Christian" in any sense of the word then I apologize from the bottom of my heart. The hurt and pain and judgment that has been shown to you is not what Jesus taught and it is appalling that you had (maybe even continue) to experience that. I hope that you can find it in your heart to one day forgive us.

This has to stop.

The strongest evidence that we have failed our neighbor is being evidenced right now by the state of our country. We have allowed racism and politics to pervade our sanctuaries; something that should have never even been tolerated outside of the church, much less in. You want revival to happen in America? Stop judging and start loving. Look at yourself: truly, openly, honestly, and focus on the things that you need to work on and just love those around you.

If we are going to teach and preach that all people are worthy in God's sight, then it's time we actually lived like we mean it.

When asked, Jesus said that the greatest commandments were to love God with all your heart, soul, and mind. In the same sentence he also added, love your neighbor as yourself. There was no caveat, no addendum, no exceptions. Love God, Love People.

We have not been loving our neighbor, and by extension we have not been loving God.

This is my call to action. This is my desperate plea.

Be better.

No longer tolerate injustice. No longer be enslaved to politics. No longer be bogged down by the dogma. No longer let there be a barrier between you and the people you were called to love.

Let us all strive to be more like Jesus. Right now we are so far from it.

In a lot of ways, I feel that we are guilty of far worse than the police officers who have shown just how brutal they can be. At least we know where they stand.

No, we just pretend like nothing is wrong as we savagely rip apart the souls of the downtrodden, the hopeless, and the weary. Instead of being a refuge, we have become a snake pit.

If Jesus were to give his speech to the Pharisees today, it would be aimed at us. I honestly think we would be the ones to be driven out of the temple with the whip. There is no place in God's kingdom for what the church has become.

Doesn't that make you weep?

You can try to justify, or argue. You can write me off completely. But I think deep down we all know the truth.

We must be better.

Grace and Peace.

3 years huh?

It's hard to imagine how much life has blown by in three years.

I have a daughter who is now three years old.  She is beautiful, and she is a handful, and there are days where the last thing I want to do is be an invested and intentional father.  But, I would not change having her in my life for anything in the world.

My wife started going back to school during these past three years.  To say that has been stressful would be an understatement.  But, to watch that look of fulfillment and joy on her face as she excitedly explains all she has been learning makes every tear, every drop of sweat or restrained comment from frustration worth it.

3 years feels like a long time, and yet, it is so short.

During this time we've watched the Black Lives Matter movement go from an almost unseen organization to a viral cry out for equality.  A movement that not only was a fight against police brutality and favoritism, but also a cry out for the continuation of what the Civil Rights movement was all about. 

I hate to call it "Civil Rights 2.0" because I know it is so much deeper than that, but the core of the message is still the same.

"Every human deserves to be treated with the same dignity and respect as a created being in this universe."

And we (the black community and those who stand with them) will not take the abuse any longer.

In these short years, we have had families fighting amongst themselves on whether kneeling during the national anthem is disrespectful "to the flag" (or rather what it represents) or not.  Even though, the heart of the protest was never about the flag.

And it even led to the dismissal of professional NFL players.

It has even led to the association that runs the NFL to attempt to silence their right to freedom of speech, because so many people get offended.  Because we keep trying to make it about the nation, those who served, and ignore what it is really about.

I realize I don't carry the popular opinion.  And, in a lot of ways this argument I'm making is the same that countless others have made before me.  But still I type these words because the issue is still very real, even if the media doesn't cover it as much.

Our president has seen to that.  And since I don't want to open that bag of worms I'll end this rambling here.

See you in another three years I suppose.

Grace and Peace

Forgive this?

Hello readers, it's been a while.  I guess you could say I've been busy, but then maybe I just haven't felt like I've been in a good place to write anything of worth.  Who wants to read the drivel of any person's day?  Isn't that what personal journals/diaries are for?

Instead I will talk of something I've been going over and over in my mind.

Forgiveness.

It has got to be one of the hardest things to accomplish, and even writing this is hard because there are so many thoughts running around in my mind that I find it difficult to nail down that one coherent thought.

The past few weeks I've really been fighting with myself on this aspect of forgiveness, and I don't know if it is because I'm tired of dealing with other people's seemingly personal vendettas against humanity, or because I'm tired of being walked over by people who don't know how to keep their attitude in check (or feel they shouldn't have to), or even if it is simply because it is a hard thing to do.

The thing is, I feel like, for the first time in my life, that I don't want to be around people right now.  And not the "I'm tired, let's go home" kind of feeling, but rather I feel like I need a hiatus from humanity.  The entitlement, the attitudes, the selfishness, etc.  It wears on my spirit and my heart.  It hurts.

But Forgiveness.

How much peace would we get if we were more forgiving?  How many hours do we waste thinking about how things would be different if "they" would only do something?  How wasted is our energy on the bitterness that seems to overflow from the depths of our souls?  What is the point in being so angry at the world and telling the world to "just deal with it"?

Do we not see that everything we do affects another?

Jesus was so patient with us.  The sheep who wander off on our own.  And his forgiveness runs deeper than any one I know.

I would be so much worse off if God was not patient with my petty behaviors, and here I am complaining about that very thing. 

Forgiveness.

There are days when I wonder if I could ever forgive myself.  Not for the actions I've taken as much as the inaction that should not have been.  How can I forgive myself for not standing up for people when they need me to?  How can I forgive myself for my silence when words should have been spoken?  How can I accept my past?

It's a tough pill to swallow.  I think a lot of days I run from it.  I find myself still sucked into some of the same old ruts I've walked since childhood.  Never really denying the existence of my problems when asked, but living life as if I'm pretending they don't exist.

But I think, accepting these weaknesses are an important part of the human existence.  The journey of the Being.

Luckily, this isn't a journey I have to make alone.  There are those who have gone before me.  Experience and wiser individuals who have walked this path and have seen the light on the other side.

Luckily there are those who are walking through the same processes I am and can relate.

Luckily, I know this is not where it ends, it's just another beginning.

Forgiveness.

What a wonderful place to be.  Sure sucks getting there though.


Grace and Peace.

Paradox Complex: Good but Bad?

Christianity is full of paradoxes.  Everything that is taught seems to go against what comes natural to us.  We are told to go against the stream and be different, but so many (including myself) fall so short so often.  One of the paradoxes I wanted to touch on today was one of Humans being good, but also being bad (sinful, evil, etc.)

I think there is a common misconception that permeates around Christian culture like a plague.  People feel worthless and vile like they are worst people that have ever existed.  They can often be self-defeating and too self-demanding and I suspect a lot of it stems from what we are taught in churches more often than not nowadays.  I’m sure you’ve all heard it before.

“We are born with no goodness in us!”  “We deserve God’s wrath.” “There isn’t a day that goes by that we aren’t sinning against God somehow.”

While I won’t argue that these statements are false, I think we forget sometimes that God does not create bad things.  So we find ourselves being beaten over the head with our failures by our own selves and perceive our pastors, and other church members to be doing the same.  But we are so much more than the sum of our faults.

When God created the known universe he looked at it and saw that it was good (see the first two chapters of Genesis).  He saw it, and said it himself, “this is good.”  He created a beautiful masterpiece of art that continues to shift and change and shine to this day.

Because Humanity is good.

People are beautiful, the ability to reason, to create, and to renew is astounding.  Relationships are messy but wonderful, community is inspiring (when it’s done right).  Intimacy is vulnerable but so satisfying. 

Humanity is good, just like the rest of creation.

But then the first sin happened, and the whole world was turned upside down because of it.

Humans didn’t stop being good, but the conditions of their souls became one of death and sin.  We became “bad”.  People started to become jealous of one another, they murdered in cold blood, they proved unfaithful time and time again to their own friends and family and they turned away from the very being who created them.

I think we can all admit that we have problems.  Many people refuse to admit their problems, ignore them, or are unaware of them, but at the end of the day we all know we are a screwed up race.  People will say “I’m a pretty good person,” but really they are just comparing one small aspect of their life to someone else’s and judging subjectively if they do it better.

There is a little evil in all of us, but luckily most people know how to reign it in and keep it in check (for the most part, after all, no one is perfect right?)  But despite all of the flaws and scars and wounds that we cover up, people are still beautiful.  Granted that beauty is only a fraction of what it could be, but beautiful nonetheless.

There are still mothers who care deeply for their children, lovers who give up everything for each other, scholars and poets who reason and create and encourage that of others, and musicians who form emotions and convey a message not only in lyrics but also in the sounds produced from their instruments.  There are moments of just pure good that still exist in this world; creation hasn’t become bad, just because we have tainted it with our fingerprints.

Humanity is good, our souls are in bad shape and need help.

Two cents for the day.

Grace and Peace

Mind Games

So, I finally watched Pacific Rim this week at the dollar theater here in Birmingham, and if you haven’t seen it yet I make a suggestion to do so; especially if you like big robots, big monsters, and the idea of the two fighting each other for the fate of the planet.  If not, then you still might find it enjoyable.  Honestly, it has been a while since an intense part of a movie causes me to catch myself not breathing (although that could have had something to do with the theater we were in).

But the movie got me thinking about one of the aspects of it.

If you don’t know by now, the big robots are handled by two pilots who link minds with each other (not a spoiler since it’s revealed in the trailer).

I find this concept incredibly fascinating.  Having seen the movie I now find myself wondering what that would actually feel like to essentially mind meld with another human being through technology.  To experience all their emotions and memories that has led them up to this point in the blip of a couple of seconds.  How overwhelming would that be?  Would we be able to actually physically process that much information?  How strong is a bond that is made like this?

The most interesting aspect to me about it all is that the experience is very organic.  It is portrayed in the movie by flashes of memories, scenes from the individuals life, that pass by in a moment; some of which are much more vivid than others both in detail and content and it makes me think of all the other times I have seen a sci-fi movie or show that had something similar happen (Vulcan Mind Meld for example).  It got me thinking, permitting that it is even possible to see or read a mind in such a way, would it be possible to do so with technology?

A lot of advances have been made with the human study on the brain, but I can’t think of anything I have personally seen that would indicate that it is anything more than data points.  As of right now there isn’t really a way to attach some unobtrusive device to our heads and see images on a screen.  Do I think that we will ever get to a point when we could see images?  I think it is plausible but I’m not sure we’d ever reach the point where it is as clear as some of the things that have been represented by Hollywood.  Still it is fascinating to think of.

On the other side of things what would that be like to experience?  Think about it, two complete strangers come together who are found to be “compatible” through whatever rigmarole is deemed the appropriate steps for analysis, and are connected to each other’s minds via a metal coil.  In the background the countdown can be heard and anxiously they try to calm their minds and their bodies.  Suddenly, like the rushing wave of a tsunami each is engulfed in the endless sea of years of memories and emotions.  Everything that was ever thought, felt, experienced (everything) lay wide open for the other to experience as a memory as well.

How vulnerable would you feel?

How much trust would you have in the other person?

You would know this person so intimately that even that others romantic interest would be embarrassed of not knowing as much.

I think, because of the way humans are, that experiencing something like would develop a bond and relationship unlike any other.  It would be impossible to lie to one another even if you wanted to because it would be recognized so quickly.  I think it would also lead to what I’m going to call an echo imprint.  Essentially, once the mind has been touched there is evidence of it within that individual.  Whether personalities start to meld, or perhaps a way of speech, a part of you is left on the person and vice versa.  That has some profound, if not dangerous, implications.

What then becomes definition of identity with people who experience this consistently?  Do they even deal with identity or do they view themselves as a single entity in two bodies?  What are some negative effects this could have on the mind?

Who knows, at the moment I can only talk theoretically anyway.

Still I find it fascinating, and I think it was and intriguing idea to use.

What do you think?  What would this mean for someone like you?

Grace and Peace.

Anger: A Problem or Catalyst?

As I write this I can see the gentle falling of the rain outside through the window nearby.  I find myself wishing I was out there rather than in here.  To just sit and soak for a little while lost in my thought with no one around, just me and God.

However, life doesn’t really allow for such flippant displays of emotion at the moment.  I guess I’ll have to add that on my list of why it sometimes sucks to be an adult.

I find myself feeling worn out lately.  In turn I have found it difficult to write much of anything here on this blog, but I always find it a source of catharsis to get my thoughts out and it can also double as a great place to have (or start) conversation so I find myself here once again.

The pastor at the church I attend has been preaching on the “seven deadly sins”, or (more accurately I believe) the seven core sins.  The series has been somewhat fascinating as I have never had a pastor speak on them in such detail and because I have enjoyed his point of view of them.  This past week he spoke of anger and some of the reasons people get angry.  The overarching reason was that anger happens when a goal/expectation is blocked by something/someone, and his example was that of someone being really hungry and seeing a beautiful apple tree with ripe apples that was blocked by a wall that could not be climbed over.

Most simplistic summary ever.

Anyway, he mentioned three sources of anger that are common, but I wanted to touch on one in particular because of my own experiences with it.

Probably one of the biggest reasons I’ve ever seen anyone get angry is because they have been hurt.  Whether it was through a bad relationship with a friend or significant other, or through a terrible experience with parents, etc. people tend to let their hurt play out in their anger.  Consequentially, this is also brought on by unforgiving attitudes as well.  How often do we say something just to be hurtful?

“Remember how you did ‘x’?”  “That was over 10 years ago, and what about ‘x’?”

Back and forth it goes in one vicious circle and nothing gets done except causing more hurt, and it is so easy to let that hurt fester and boil until it becomes a bitterness and resentment that is near impossible to hide.  I find a lot of people I know who are jaded about something have some bitterness toward it.  This also happens to be one of the forms of anger that I struggle with the most because I tend to internalize all of my anger and frustration because I find that exploding on others is more detrimental than helpful, however, if I don’t do anything to resolve my anger internally it will eventually lead to explosive anger so internalizing is just as dangerous.

I find myself under constant watch of myself lately because of this very tendency.  I don’t know if life in general has just been beating me up, or if I am slowly becoming a grouchy old man, but either way it requires constant vigilance to watch the words I speak, how I speak them, and to whom I speak them.  Oftentimes I fail, and the only thing I can do is thank God for his patience with me, stand back up and brush the dust off.

Anger is not inherently evil, or even a bad thing.  Even Jesus got angry (very angry sometimes).  It is all about how we channel that anger.  It can be a powerful tool that stirs us out of our slumber and into action.  And there are times when we should be angry, even outraged.  Sex trafficking makes me incredibly angry (and should do the same for you), slavery makes me angry, racism makes me angry, bullying makes me angry, any form of prejudice or hatred displayed to those who are different or you don’t agree with.  All these things bring a side of me that is not normally visible out.  There is nothing wrong with anger.

My problem (and all of you can probably relate on some level), is that I let me anger get the best of me at times and I end of saying or doing things that I regret later.  Because while I may have meant what I said, I may not have meant it the way it was said (such a fine line).

How do we deal with anger like that?  I know what I do personally, but I know there isn’t any one “right” way to do it.  I’m sure we could all agree that there are wrong ways to handle it, but what about the good ways?  Sometimes, my anger leads me to cleaning up around the house, sometimes it leads to my writing, and other times I just have to seclude myself in my room or somewhere and just listen to some music quietly while I exhaust my anger at the ceiling with my rampaging thoughts.  If I get to that point, I won’t leave my spot until my mind has calmed down sufficiently that I’m not thinking about the event that made me angry.

I find that this become especially true when dealing with others.  Sometimes my anger is justifiable, and sometimes I’m frustrated over the most inane thing.  For instance, when people leave cabinet doors open (anywhere not just at home) I feel a spike of anger.  Doesn’t make a drop of sense to me, but it happens, so I close the door and move on without saying much if anything, but other times something happens and my anger builds and I can immediately pinpoint the reasons why I’m angry and they are good, logical even, and just.  Yet, when dealing with people I have to balance whether or not it is worth the fight that would ensue if I bring up my anger.

Suffice to say most days I keep it to myself (and my wife too sometimes).

How do you deal with anger?  What are some of the reasons you get angry (reasonable or silly)?

Grace and Peace

Relationships with God and Others (Part 3?)

Have you ever mused over a relationship (or multiple relationships) and come to some kind of understanding of God because of it?

That's pretty much what happened to me the other night. My wife and I decided we need to take a break from the chaos that has become our life and after enjoying a pleasant viewing of a movie (Planes if you must know) we wound our way to a restaurant where we spent a while just chatting a little bit about everything. It was just a time to get away from everything and be with each other.

By the way, if you are in a relationship, days like this are essential.

Regardless, we were discussing some our frustrations with different people we knew and the more I talked with her the more I realized that the way I felt is very much how God felt when dealing with the Israelites, or more personally myself.

How many times do we take for granted what is given to us? I live in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife and sometimes I neglect to remember that God is the one who put me where I am today.

How often do I, complain about things that in the grand scheme of things mean nothing at all? How often do I completely ignore the blessings that have been bestowed upon me?

All too often.

To make a comparison: We are like a bunch of kids who are upset because we don't get everything we want, even though we get way above what we need.

For instance, I can think of many different people I've met over the years who would complain that their parents/significant other/friends don't care about them because they won't give them what they wanted.

Teenagers think their parents will never understand them and think they are horrible because they got an iPhone 3 instead of an iPhone 5. One friend might think another friend doesn't care because they don't agree on something. A woman may think a man doesn't care because he doesn't meet all the expectations (usually unspoken) she has of him or vice versa.

We are incredibly fickle people, and honestly when I encounter people like that it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. When I think about it I quickly find myself seeking forgiveness for doing the same with God.

Just think about it for a moment. The people of Israel are coming to the Tabernacle daily to offer this huge bloody mess that becomes a sacrifice to God who dwells in the Holy of Holies. They have been doing this so consistently that it has become a little trivial, and has lost the specialness that came with it in the beginning. People begin to offer prayers and offerings to God to get things they want. Petty things that have no significance on their lives. And God finally speaks up and essentially says, “Sacrifices aren't important to me, what is important is the heart behind them. I want you fully. I don't want just a part of you that comes to me to 'appease' me. That's not how this works. I expect complete, total, raw authenticity when you come to me.”

And then gain when speaking to the church later in the letter John wrote to the churches. “You're neither hot nor cold.” or You don't heal or refresh, you do nothing because you forgot me and why you are even where you are today. “Since you are neither hot nor cold, I will spew you (essentially vomit you) out of my mouth.”

Ever have lukewarm coffee? You know the way it tastes when you let coffee sit for more than ten minutes (unless you have one of those thermal cups)? Pretty disgusting isn't it?

Or how about a nice cold cup of chocolate milk that has sat out to long now isn't really hot either? So it's not as warm as hot chocolate or as delicious as cold chocolate milk, it's disgustingly warm (unfortunately I've had the displeasure of experiencing that one personally).

The same can be true when it comes to relationships: Parents with kids; friends; husbands and wives. There are times when someone's complaints or ungratefulness can feel a lot like a bad stench that permeates a room, or that disgusting lukewarm flavor that leaves a bad aftertaste and had nothing tasty about it in the first place.

I begin to see what God meant when he said those things. I begin to understand more his love and simultaneous frustration with people. We are so stupid sometimes and sometimes we are so brilliant.

I know we've all heard it a hundred times though.

“America is so blessed, we have so much.”

“Get your head out of your butt and look around you. You aren't suffering that much.”

“Need to get over yourself.”

While true, they are phrases that get a little stale, so it was interesting to experience it on a more personal level.

Just figured I would share my thoughts for a beautiful Friday.

Grace and Peace.