Lord, My God, My Father

Lord, my God, my Father,
How awesome and wonderful you are;
Who knows me from the inside out
Who created each and every star.

My heart is burdened,
Weighed down by what I must do.
Though I cannot see the path ahead
I know you will lead me through.

Grant your servant guidance and wisdom;
Bestow upon him your courage and peace.
Empty him of all himself
So that, in him, you may increase.

At a loss for words,
I stand before your throne.
There are no answers to my questions;
There is only you, and you alone.

Lord, my God, my Father,
Let all creation sing your praise!
May my humble voice bring you joy
Let your glory fill this place!

A Simple Prayer

"You know, I want to be angry at You because You haven't given me what I want. Then again, when have I ever known what I really want?"

"I want to ignore You sometimes, but I find I cannot because you are so irresistible."

"You were the only one love with passion's quiet rage."

I'm so tired, and broken, and feeling like I'm lost. Yet I know that You are looking out for me. Your provision has not escaped my attention. Today we talked about the "foolishness of the cross", and I can understand what was being said, but I think what is more foolish in appearance is our love for You. People just don't get it, and I suppose I understand that as well. However, I cannot turn my back on you. Let everyone else think what they think, to hear what they hear, and see what they see. I want to be lost in foolish, dying love. Foolish because I know it makes no sense to do what I do, and dying because that's what love is all about.

I want you to sweep me off my feet. I want to get soaked in the rain, with my hair messed up, and my tears joining in with the beautiful chorus of storms, of suffering. Standing with hopeless abandon, not caring about anything but your words that I hear in the core of my soul: "I'm madly, dangerously, passionately, obsessively in love with you." My heart aches to be near you, but my mind trembles in fear of such a prospect. My soul pushes for you in everything, but my flesh wants to run and hide.

I want to be lost in your scandalous, foolish, dying love.

Even my wife cannot bring the satisfaction my soul longs for. Only you can bring it's sweet relief. Trying to make my identity in my relationships only makes me self-conscious, and I lose sight of you. I am thankful for the blessing you've given me through her, and she does provide something I've always needed. Companionship. But You, only You can be the sustenance of my very being. Of who I am.

Drown me in your love.

In Loving Memory

"Rest In Peace"

As soon as it begins,
Life can take a tragic end.
In the blink of an eye
The beautiful smile vanishes.

We will miss your humor,
And the story that is your life.
You taught us all to laugh,
And how to be ourselves.
Through times of pleasure and strife.

Rest in peace my dear old friend,
I know I will see you once again.
On the other side of our dark death,
There is the Light of Life
Shining down on you and I
Tell us all is right.

Your memory will live on
In the hearts of those you knew.
You left a legacy,
And we will carry it through.



In case you didn't figure it out... I had a friend pass away early this morning. Fell asleep at the wheel and drove off a ledge. Sad day. Rest in peace friend, see you on the flip side.

Hero

So here is a poem dedicated to all those who stand by our side when we feel as though there is no hope. A thank you to the "hero".

"Hero"
by: Austin E.

What do you see in me?
How can potential possibly exist?
Where does your faith come from?

You tell me so many things,
And I absorb the words like a sponge,
Grasping onto the hope of success.

When all have said,
I could not win,
You were there to stand.

You see past the mask,
Past the filth under it,
And into my very soul.

How did you see,
All that I could ever be?
Why did you stand beside me?

So to the Hero,
Who stood by my side.
Thanks.

Consume

How did I get here?

Where did things go wrong?

What happened to my hopeless abandon,

Or my strength to resist all?

The battles linger on,

But I have no strength to give.

I am falling into the abyss,

And there is no return.

Yet still you love me,

And offer your hand in help.

I can only stare in disbelief

So this is grace, so this is love.

What did I do to deserve this undying passion?

What did I do to earn your love?

There is nothing I can offer to you,

Nothing worth giving to one such as you,

You consume me.

Like a raging fire,

I am consumed by you.

I am never alone, when I am with you,

I feel as though my reach is boundless.

To you I give my body and soul.

For your unending love, I give my life.

Please stay with me,

Until eternity takes me home.

Pictures and Poetry!

Timeless Sleep


Amusement's Joy


Sky's Battle


Seasonal Falling


Mountain Blues

OK... so intermission. I took most of these pictures... All but the one of myself I believe (maybe my nephew too, my mom might have taken that) but I played around with the pictures on picasa, and when Deviant Arts server gets back to it's usual self I will put these up on it. Although I want to post it somewhere so here it is! Now onto the poem I wrote today for fun.


Silent Tears
by: Austin

I look up with my eyes closed,

The rain pelts my saturated face,

Hiding the silent tears,

That now seem to come so easily.

The pain that you feel,

I can feel it too.

It is like we are connected

Like my heart is yours and yours mine.

I don’t know what happened,

But I know you hurt.

I am in pain because you hurt,

And you hurt because I am in pain.

This existentialist feeling,

Is a phenomenon I love and hate.

I know how to care for you,

In the most dire situations,

And when to rejoice in the pleasant times.

Yes, the rain covers my tears today,

For I do not want you to see,

That I am in pain from your hurt,

From the pain that consumes your life.

One day, you will be OK,

One day, joy will consume you,

And His love will burn within you,

One day, I will no longer have to hide my tears.

Heavenly Place

The smell of new rain,

The gentle breeze covering my face,

It has taken me far too long,

To reach this heavenly place.

I found you my Love,

In a place I did not expect.

There, in the center of a grove,

You stood in the midst of red roses.

You called out to me,

And I fell at your feet.

My journey had exhausted me,

But you leaned down and gave a kiss so sweet.

The passion in your almond eyes

Made my heart leap.

As I closed my eyes, I heard a peculiar sound.

I opened my eyes to see I had been asleep.

Here is some random poetry for yous!

I saw a tree today...

This tree was consumed in darkness,
A darkness that could consume your very soul.
It was blacker than the night itself.
I saw a tree today.

Suddenly upon this tree I saw lights,
Four lights dancing to an unheard rhythm,
Dancing around the darkness,
Dancing around the night.

The darkness swelled and swelled;
It tried to consume the dancing lights.
But the lights would not back down,
They continued their dance without end.

Soon the darkness gave way to more lights,
And more and more, I could not believe my eyes.
The tree turned from black to white in an instant,
And I could hear music, such sweet music.

The white tree shone so brightly,
I had to shield my eyes.
And then I heard a voice,
A thunderous and quiet voice.
It gently whispered:

"Believe and you shall see,
What has happened to this tree
Will one day happen through thee,
And all around will find their glee,
Believe and you shall see,
What I will do through thee."

The tree came to life as the voice grew silent,
The white became many more vivid colors.
I could scarcely believe mine eyes,
As all these colors lit up the sky.

Now, I tell you this,
Never before have I felt such bliss
As when I stood there
Consumed by this great fair.

So, here I am
Before you now.
I believe and I have seen,
What He has done through me.