An Open Letter to the Church

image credit: serre86/shutterstock

(This post was copied from my wordpress blog)

I've been mulling over my thoughts and feelings for the past few days now and I think I'm finally ready to express what has become a very serious concern for me. So, I present this very open letter to anyone who claims to be a believer in Christ, and more specifically, to the church as an institution.

With everything that has been going on lately, I've really had to re-examine myself and my actions. Consequently, this also led to my observations of the church as a whole. This is where my struggle begins.

We have failed our mandate.

I am grieved by the state of the church today. I weep whenever I see hate, sorrow, anxiety, impatience, harshness, hypocrisy, and pride take priority within the church. We unabashedly spew injustice, legalism, and dogma to those we were called to love and then wonder why church attendance is so low.

How easily we have forgotten that the very core of our story, the Gospel, only begins with the sacrifice Jesus made for us. It continues with his life, his teachings and his examples. He exemplified the very virtues that we should try to uphold every single day: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

He condemned no one, but offered his loving embrace and Truth to anyone who was willing to listen. He had compassion.

Yet, time and time again I watch in horror as those who are supposed to be the embodiment of all this good fall into the exact opposite. How little we cried out against the wrongs of our history, but how quickly we were to point accusatory fingers at others for their wrongs.

We sat idly by as organizations like Westboro Baptist Church openly harassed members of the LGBTQ+ community, and even showed our solidarity with them during events like "Chik-fil-a Day" (Remember that day in 2012?). Or, how about those times we made Kaepernick's peaceful protest about #blacklivesmatter, about him "disrespecting the flag". We ignore the fact (or at least, pretend it's not as bad as it seems), that people are abused and rejected by the church because of some imagined or real sin. If a person makes us uncomfortable, we shut them out.

I have never been more ashamed of my association with the word Christian as I am today. If you happen to be reading this and have been hurt by a "Christian" in any sense of the word then I apologize from the bottom of my heart. The hurt and pain and judgment that has been shown to you is not what Jesus taught and it is appalling that you had (maybe even continue) to experience that. I hope that you can find it in your heart to one day forgive us.

This has to stop.

The strongest evidence that we have failed our neighbor is being evidenced right now by the state of our country. We have allowed racism and politics to pervade our sanctuaries; something that should have never even been tolerated outside of the church, much less in. You want revival to happen in America? Stop judging and start loving. Look at yourself: truly, openly, honestly, and focus on the things that you need to work on and just love those around you.

If we are going to teach and preach that all people are worthy in God's sight, then it's time we actually lived like we mean it.

When asked, Jesus said that the greatest commandments were to love God with all your heart, soul, and mind. In the same sentence he also added, love your neighbor as yourself. There was no caveat, no addendum, no exceptions. Love God, Love People.

We have not been loving our neighbor, and by extension we have not been loving God.

This is my call to action. This is my desperate plea.

Be better.

No longer tolerate injustice. No longer be enslaved to politics. No longer be bogged down by the dogma. No longer let there be a barrier between you and the people you were called to love.

Let us all strive to be more like Jesus. Right now we are so far from it.

In a lot of ways, I feel that we are guilty of far worse than the police officers who have shown just how brutal they can be. At least we know where they stand.

No, we just pretend like nothing is wrong as we savagely rip apart the souls of the downtrodden, the hopeless, and the weary. Instead of being a refuge, we have become a snake pit.

If Jesus were to give his speech to the Pharisees today, it would be aimed at us. I honestly think we would be the ones to be driven out of the temple with the whip. There is no place in God's kingdom for what the church has become.

Doesn't that make you weep?

You can try to justify, or argue. You can write me off completely. But I think deep down we all know the truth.

We must be better.

Grace and Peace.

Abide

I know it's been a while since I've written here, but in my defense I have been pretty busy with... you know... stuff, and things.  It was important okay?!

Joking aside, it has been a while and I have had plenty of things to think over as my days have progressed.  The past few weeks I've been really diving down into a passage in John 15:1-16

These verses are filled with one word that constantly stands out, "Abide" and over these past few weeks I've been really mulling over what it means to abide.  Both by definition and how it applies in my own life.   I feel like it is often surrounded by misconceived notions of effort rather than resting.  More on that later.

But first, definition of abide:
             Abide - to remain stable or fixed in a state; to continue in a place

All throughout the passage (linked above) Jesus repeats, "abide in me, abide in me, abide in me"; call me crazy but if he repeats it so many times it must be important.  Jesus was a man who always spoke purposefully and without the fluff that many of us speak with today.  He never minced words, so for him to repeat a phrase really says something about the man as much as the message.  His repetition is indicative that he felt that this topic was incredibly important and he wanted to make sure his audience understood.

Abide in me.

Growing up in a world of skyscrapers, computers, cars, and everything city, it is hard for me to understand this discussion Jesus is sharing about vines and branches and fruit.  As I've studied these metaphors, I've tried to come up with something comparable but nothing fits quite as well as a vine and branches.  So I did a little bit of reading and tried to understand how grafting really works.

Grafting Info: I know, I know Wikipedia isn't exactly the "best" research credible resource, but it works.

Grafting is an incredibly interesting thing, and what's more it is also actually fairly simple.  Just looking up at images of grafted plants shows what kind of wide varieties of success can look like and it's quite beautiful.  But the thing that interests me the most, is that the plant that the branch is grafted into becomes the sole source of life for that branch, a successful graft will determine whether or not that branch survives at all.  It is fully reliant on the plant.

In the same way, Christ is telling his disciples that he is the sole provider of everything.  The very essence of life for those that are grafted into him.  As a Christian, I believe that Jesus is God incarnate and thus one I can put my hopes and fear, everything, into his hands trusting that he will give me what I need when I need it.  That has been a hard lesson, but a very freeing experience as well.  It is an ongoing process, but every day I see something new, understand a little more what it means to be grafted like a branch onto a vine.

Abide in me.

Which brings me back to the resting vs. effort aspect I mentioned above.  From my own experience, I have witnessed many people who carry themselves as Christians wear themselves out trying to do enough, be enough, give enough to warrant their salvation.  We tend to have this thought process that while we know Christ died so that we might live, we feel that we must do more (I'm guilty of it too at times).  But the truth of the matter is, Abiding is the complete opposite of going and doing.  It isn't about effort at all, but about resting.

To continue the grafting example, the branch that has been grafted onto the parent plant must rely solely on that parent plant for all nourishment.  But with that nourishment comes the beauty that only the branch can produce.  It is unique to all other branches on that plant.

In the same way, when we rest in Christ and let his Spirit nourish ours, we can grow and bear a beauty that is unique to us as individuals but also as a whole.  Which, in turn creates a unique beauty that could not be achieved otherwise.  Much like the tree here:

Admittedly, as I said before, I'm still trying to grasp this on a daily basis, but I also wanted to share a few thoughts as well.

The Sunday school class I attend has actually been working through a book called Abide in Christ by Andrew Murray & Bo Stevens which has been helpful in my studies of this passage and what lead to studying it in the first place.  If you're interested give it a look.

My two cents for now.

Grace and Peace.

Sinner's Prayer and a small Ramble

I’ve always been fascinated with the construct of the sinner’s prayer.  Initially, it was because I thought it was this magical phrase that somehow convinced a supernatural deity to inhabit my physical heart and save me from the evil powers that I had yet to understand.  But, I got older and began to understand that it wasn’t the words that I said, but how I meant them, and even now I find that my understanding of what the “Sinner’s Prayer” really is.

For those who aren’t familiar with the terminology; in the Christian culture there is this moment when those who wish to join the faith will be led through a series of sentences that culminate in a prayer that usually follows along the lines of acknowledging guilt, believing in Jesus, and confessing the guilt to him, followed by this request that the individual may not really mean at the time which is for Jesus to come into their lives and become their Lord and Savior.  Many people believe that if they say this prayer, then they are saved from the reaches of Hell.

The problem is, many times, they are wrong.

Now let me go ahead and say that I don’t personally have anything against a “Sinner’s Prayer”, and I know many Christians who have had their lives changed since they said the prayer themselves.  However, I would argue that for them it was actually more about their heart condition and not about the words coming out of their mouth.

The sinner’s prayer is not some type of magical formula that you can chant as a mantra over and over again thinking it will buy you a ticket into paradise.  There is no way in this world for a human to be able to physically do anything to earn the salvation they earnestly seek (if you seek it at all).  There is no ministry that can be done enough, no amount of money donated to charities, no amount of praying that can ensure salvation.  To believe that we can enchant a deity with our meager attempts in this short life is laughable at best.

In fact, during the morning service this past week, our youth pastor (who was preaching at the time) put it this way (paraphrased): “Praying a sinner’s prayer thinking it will somehow magically make you good with God even when your life says the opposite… might as well be witchcraft.”

That’s just it though.  I have met so many people, heard so many stories, of individuals who find themselves in this position of believing they are Christians because of a prayer that they said, or acts of service that they do, and how they consider themselves good people (and many of these people I would consider being “good” as well), but never really surrendered the control of their lives over to God.

I know that there are a lot of people out there who would look at that statement and completely shut me off right there.  Everyone has their different reasons, some refuse to think critically, some would believe to think the way I do is to intellectually murder myself, and some just don’t care.

To the ones who feel it is intellectual murder I pose this question:  Why would it be impossible to think critically and still come to the same conclusions?  Over the years so many people have looked at the same evidence and come to vastly different conclusions, so why can’t both be critical thinkers (note that at this point I’m not saying that both have come to a conclusion that is true, but rather have come to a conclusion by using their intellect)?

There are plenty of Christians who have critically thought their way into atheism, and there are plenty of atheists who have critically thought their way into Christianity.  I don’t think one gave up their intellect just because they concluded that the other must be true.  But it seems I’ve gone off on a bit of a bunny trail.

The point I was trying to make is that the Gospel, and consequentially Christianity, is so much deeper than just saying a prayer, or following a list of rules.  It is about reaching out to people in love, to better their lives by introducing them to Jesus.  I know that he has changed me forever, and I know that even when I am struck by fear or by a hard time in my life that I can lean on a being that far exceeds my limitations.  If that makes me weak then so be it.  I would rather be weak and surrounded by a God and people who will support and help me, than to be strong and be alone.

I am not writing these words to try to convince you, my reader, that Christ is the only way to really live.  I am of the opinion that it is impossible to change others; the only person I can ever change is myself.  But I do find it important to occasionally share where I stand, and to do so confidently.  If I cannot be confident on the things I hold closes to my heart, then I would have to question whether or not they are what I really believe.

More rambling on a Wednesday.  Happy Hump Day!

Grace and Peace

Faith in Relationships and God, Part 2

I suppose this is where the fun begins.

God isn’t like the rest of us.  Jesus wasn’t a guy who just didn’t get it.  If anything, he showed that he understood us so much better than we understood ourselves.  He proved that he loved the people he was with even though he knew their past, he knew their shame, and he certainly knew their hearts.

There is no deceiving God, no way to hide, no way to hurt; he always knows where you are, how you feel, and how to take care of you.

He is the only being in the whole of existence who sees you for who you really are, all the vulnerabilities, all the hurts, all the past mistakes, all the good, all the dreams, the hopes, the desires.  He sees it all and loves it.  More specifically, he loves you.

He. Loves. You.

Whether you reject him or embrace him, he will always be just a breath away.  He will not hurt you, and you cannot disappoint him.  There is nothing you can do to make him go away.

But he doesn’t invade your life either.  He allows you to make your own decisions and waits patiently for you.  He is basically exactly what we are all looking for and need in a relationship.

Might seem too good to be true, but keep in mind I mentioned what we needed in a relationship and not what we wanted.  They are incredibly different things.  And oftentimes confused for each other.

But think about it.  One of the greatest needs humanity has it to feel love and acceptance, and to have a sense of belonging.  It makes them feel safe, and it makes them feel important.  I think in our core, we all have a deep need to be significant.

And we are significant.  We are worthy of being loved.

To use an “overused” verse from John 3

“This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person’s failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him.”

The point is, you are loved.

But what does that have to do with Faith in God?

Well, to really have faith in someone you have to trust them.  I personally find it impossible to truly trust someone without knowing they actually care about me and my well-being.  So, I felt that it was important to establish that God does actually care.

This is where it gets tricky.

See, I have found over the years that for me to trust others, I need to be trustworthy myself.  I need to exhibit the qualities that I desire to see in other people (within reason).  If I want my wife to prove she is trustworthy I must also be willing to put forth the effort in doing the same.  It is just the natural course of relationships from my own experience.

My relationship with God isn’t really any different.   There is still ebb and flow, give and take, and a need to show trust and be trusted.

This gets incredibly difficult when things don’t always go the way we expect.  Admittedly, there are days when I have felt that God betrayed me or hurt me on purpose, but I have to remember that despite how I feel, the reality is that God doesn’t do anything without purpose, without reason.  I, in my finite mind, cannot always understand the movements of an infinite being.

That doesn’t really make it easy.  If anything it makes it more difficult.  But I find that if I can shut down my pride for a few minutes then maybe I will begin to see that, as Solomon put it, “There is a season for everything.”  Sometimes we have to wait; sometimes we have to weather a storm; sometimes we have to make it through the tougher parts of life to get a little stronger so we can go a little further; and sometimes things are gravy.

Just like a relationship with another person.

I feel like, ultimately, having faith in another person, and having faith in God when it comes to relationships is really no different.

Furthermore, I would argue that they are actually intimately intertwined.

My relationship with God actually does affect my relationship with my wife and with others.  If I am being adamant in speaking with God, meditating on who he is, what he has done for me, and what he has to say both in scripture and in my own personal time with him then I find that my relationships with other improve immensely from it.

But when I neglect to do those things my relationships with others stagnate, I tend to be more irritable than usual and poor attitudes slowly creep into my core.

And I don’t want that.

I don’t want that at all.

Grace and Peace.

p.s.  Dear friend,  I hope this has helped you even a little bit.  If you want to discuss this more in person you are more than welcome to come find me.  You know where I live.  :)

Faith in Relationships and God, Part 1

I was asked by a friend to write out my thoughts on faith and how it plays out in relationships and with God.  I’ve been mulling over it for about a week now, and I’m still not entirely sure I’ve gotten all my thoughts straightened out but I thought now might be a good time to start the writing process and see where the journey takes us.  Without further ado:

I guess the first thing that needs to be addressed what the definition of the word faith since it will be the basis for the rest of the post.  There are few different points under the faith definition but I am going to just use the two points that I think are reflected at the heart of the question:

Faith [feyth]

1.       Confidence or trust in a person or thing: faith in another’s ability.

2.       Belief that is not based on proof: He had faith that the hypothesis would be substantiated by fact.

That is what we are really talking about here when we talk about faith in relationships:  A showing of trust and confidence in the face of uncertainty or lack of proof.

I think I want to start with faith in relationships.  I feel that perhaps this will be the easier of the two to address and I want to make sure my thoughts have worked themselves out a little more before I talk about faith in God.

Throughout life every human experiences a series of relationships.  Every encounter with another human or any living creature develops a form of relationship.  Whether it is an acquaintanceship with a co-worker, an affection for a pet, or love for a significant other, we are all in some form of relationship.  Each of these relationships tell a little bit about who we are as people.  How we react to different personalities, what we reveal to others at differing levels of intimacy, and how we handle conflict (perhaps the most revealing of all).  Every relationship requires some semblance of trust that the person you are interacting with is not some psychopath who is going to slit your throat when you aren’t looking (although we all know there are other ways to be much more hurtful).  The more intimate you get with another, the more faith or trust is required until eventually you get to the point where you are completely vulnerable to the other person.

When you reach that point there is no turning back.

And it is scary.

And dangerous.

But it is also freeing.

I can’t even begin to mention the times when I have been so thankful that I can really and truly be myself around my wife.  It is such a blessing to be in such a relationship with her that I can come home and not feel the need to “wear my armor” so to speak, and she has said the same to me on a number of occasions.  It is a beautiful thing to be a part of.  But being in such a relationship has the potential for some of the deepest wounds.  One small word, one phrase, one little thing is all it takes and that trust gets completely destroyed.

Many times when things like that happen, it isn’t even meant.  It is just something that was said or done in the heat of the moment.  And it happens too many times to too many people.

And sometimes those people never trust again.  They never open up because their heart is too damaged, too wounded, and they are too scared.  And that fear keeps them from opening up again which is what really needs to happen if they are ever going to heal.

The problem, of course, is that we are all people.  There is not a single perfect being out there.  Not a single individual who will take all of who you are and at some point not hurt you.  It is in our nature.  I deeply love my wife, and I know she trusts me to take care of her both emotionally and physically.  She trusts me to not use the secrets that she has kept to herself until she shared them with me against her.  She trusts me to keep those same secrets to myself.  She trusts me to respect her wishes, and she certainly trusts me to have fidelity in our relationship with each other.

And I trust her to do the same. 

It’s taken four years to get to that point, and it has been a painful process at times because despite our trust in each other, we don’t always pull through like we should. 

Because people are broken.

But we have to keep removing callouses that develop around our hearts or we will get to the point where we don’t love each other any longer.  And I don’t mean that in the sense of the emotional experience of love.  I mean the commitment and choice to love.  The act of putting the other before self, of showing patience and kindness, of getting angry at the injustice of how someone treated the other, or keeping complaints to yourself because the only reason you’re aggravated is because it is inconvenient to you.

It is a two way street, and it requires balance and finesse.

That’s why so many people will spend a lifetime toughing out the imbalance until they find it.

That’s why so many people give up on something so beautiful, because they don’t realize they can actually work through it if they wanted to.  They just don’t want to because it hurts in the now.

But we are worth so much more than this.

Grace and Peace.  Part 2 coming up Wed.

Story of Life

Everyone wants to be part of a story.  At least, that is what I have concluded.  This thought came about on my way to work this past Tuesday as I let my mind wander (as I tend to do on my way to and from work).  In all honesty, I don't know many people who would say they would rather live a boring uneventful life.  How many of you men pretended to be the hero when you were younger?  How many of you women played house or some other form thereof? How often did you rope your boy friends into playing it with you? 

I think the reason for this is because we want to be a part of the story.  There is something exciting about facing adversity (such as an imaginary dragon) and overcoming it (especially if it involves some makeshift weapon). There is something enticing about adventure. There is also something incredibly significant about feeling important and cherished.  This, I believe, is true for all people and not just men or women.  The fact of the matter is that sometimes, ultimately, we want to be the rescuer, and sometimes we want to be the rescued.  After all, it makes for some of the best stories right?  People do not always have to be physically rescued either, sometimes the emotional rescue is just as satisfying (I site the standard 'chick-flick' in this case; the woman is rescued from her terrible circumstances [usually] by some buff and incredibly romantic dude that [sometimes literally] sweeps the woman off her feet).  While I like a good mushy movie from time to time, I have to admit that oftentimes that genre can cause a perverse desire for the impossible.  Let's face it ladies, there is no way you will ever find that perfect guy.  He doesn't exist.  Those movies pervert the excitement of story that we want to be a part of.  Action films are no different, so we are not exempt from the desire of the impossible either.  I think this might be why I, and many people I know, love the movies that hit close to home and feel "real"; or are blatantly different (such as fantasy or animated) because we know it could never really be, so it is just a "nice story".

The thing about story though, is it is full of conflict.  How many people would read a book if all the character did was the same thing he did every day?  No adventure, no excitement, just routine. How boring would that be?  You see my point.  Story has to have a conflict, or the character never grows, and if the character doesn't grow what is the point?  Are we really all that different?  Who does not want to improve an aspect about themselves?  Who does not want to be a part of something that is life and maybe world changing? I know I do, I could give a list of the aspects I would like to improve in myself, and of course I want to constantly be a part of something that is bigger than me.  I want to be a Hero! But, to be a hero, I also need to be rescued.  Rescued from what though? 

Now we are getting to the heart of it.

Every Protagonist has a starting point to their story.  It is an understood concept that the main character(s) of any story had a "life" before the story and will have continued "life" after the story ends.  After all, life is a series of stories skillfully woven together.  Well, the starting point for so many involves a rescue of some sort.  Sometimes it is a literal rescue from a prison, sometimes it is a rescue from mundane, sometimes it is a rescue from themselves, and the list goes on.  How often is the protagonist (and us too really) rescued from something so that they might "live to fight another day"?  That day of course arrives only after time spent in conflict and growth.  After all, you can't overcome any problem if you don't grow, and you can't grow without the experience of the adversity that you are trying to overcome.  This is why, as much as I dislike hard times, I have at least some appreciation for them.  The truth is that the things that tend to cause the most pain in my life are the very things that spur me to become a better man, husband, brother, son, and friend.

Every conflict is a battle, every resolution a victory or defeat, every victory or defeat is a learning experience, and every experience acts as a catalyst to the next cycle of growth. 

Naturally, I wonder how the the concept of story that I love so much, applies to my life.  As I look I can see different conflicts that have brought out a warrior in me in just the past year alone, so then I wondered where did the rescue come from, and I realized that, it came from a sacrifice that happened a couple thousand years ago.

I have made no efforts to hide that I call myself a Christian, and have out-rightly claimed it often, so it should come as no surprise that I would find my rescue in the sacrifice and resurrection of Christ.  But it is true, since Christ captured and romanced my heart I have found a purpose to fight, a reason and cause worth dying for.  I hope it is plain to see that I am not happy with the way many people who claim to be Christian have treated others, but I also cannot deny the changes that have happened in my life due to the freedom from salvation, from being rescued from my sins, my worries, and even my anger (to name a few).  It is also Christ who has mentored me into the man I need to be, that I want to be, because it is who I am.  He is making me a Hero.

Today is Good Friday.  Despite calling it that, it is one of the saddest days in history when you think about what is celebrated in the Christian circles: The Crucifixion of Christ.  The reason it is a good Friday then, is because not only was the crucifixion necessary for salvation from sins, but also promises the resurrection which is celebrated on Easter Sunday.  The resurrection completes the story.  It is reason I can claim freedom.  If Christ did not rise from the grave, then freedom is non existent.  That's a strong claim though, so let me clarify by saying that I can only go off resurrection as I understand it now.  Who knows what revelations will be made in the future?

I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Grace and Peace.