An Open Letter to the Church

image credit: serre86/shutterstock

(This post was copied from my wordpress blog)

I've been mulling over my thoughts and feelings for the past few days now and I think I'm finally ready to express what has become a very serious concern for me. So, I present this very open letter to anyone who claims to be a believer in Christ, and more specifically, to the church as an institution.

With everything that has been going on lately, I've really had to re-examine myself and my actions. Consequently, this also led to my observations of the church as a whole. This is where my struggle begins.

We have failed our mandate.

I am grieved by the state of the church today. I weep whenever I see hate, sorrow, anxiety, impatience, harshness, hypocrisy, and pride take priority within the church. We unabashedly spew injustice, legalism, and dogma to those we were called to love and then wonder why church attendance is so low.

How easily we have forgotten that the very core of our story, the Gospel, only begins with the sacrifice Jesus made for us. It continues with his life, his teachings and his examples. He exemplified the very virtues that we should try to uphold every single day: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

He condemned no one, but offered his loving embrace and Truth to anyone who was willing to listen. He had compassion.

Yet, time and time again I watch in horror as those who are supposed to be the embodiment of all this good fall into the exact opposite. How little we cried out against the wrongs of our history, but how quickly we were to point accusatory fingers at others for their wrongs.

We sat idly by as organizations like Westboro Baptist Church openly harassed members of the LGBTQ+ community, and even showed our solidarity with them during events like "Chik-fil-a Day" (Remember that day in 2012?). Or, how about those times we made Kaepernick's peaceful protest about #blacklivesmatter, about him "disrespecting the flag". We ignore the fact (or at least, pretend it's not as bad as it seems), that people are abused and rejected by the church because of some imagined or real sin. If a person makes us uncomfortable, we shut them out.

I have never been more ashamed of my association with the word Christian as I am today. If you happen to be reading this and have been hurt by a "Christian" in any sense of the word then I apologize from the bottom of my heart. The hurt and pain and judgment that has been shown to you is not what Jesus taught and it is appalling that you had (maybe even continue) to experience that. I hope that you can find it in your heart to one day forgive us.

This has to stop.

The strongest evidence that we have failed our neighbor is being evidenced right now by the state of our country. We have allowed racism and politics to pervade our sanctuaries; something that should have never even been tolerated outside of the church, much less in. You want revival to happen in America? Stop judging and start loving. Look at yourself: truly, openly, honestly, and focus on the things that you need to work on and just love those around you.

If we are going to teach and preach that all people are worthy in God's sight, then it's time we actually lived like we mean it.

When asked, Jesus said that the greatest commandments were to love God with all your heart, soul, and mind. In the same sentence he also added, love your neighbor as yourself. There was no caveat, no addendum, no exceptions. Love God, Love People.

We have not been loving our neighbor, and by extension we have not been loving God.

This is my call to action. This is my desperate plea.

Be better.

No longer tolerate injustice. No longer be enslaved to politics. No longer be bogged down by the dogma. No longer let there be a barrier between you and the people you were called to love.

Let us all strive to be more like Jesus. Right now we are so far from it.

In a lot of ways, I feel that we are guilty of far worse than the police officers who have shown just how brutal they can be. At least we know where they stand.

No, we just pretend like nothing is wrong as we savagely rip apart the souls of the downtrodden, the hopeless, and the weary. Instead of being a refuge, we have become a snake pit.

If Jesus were to give his speech to the Pharisees today, it would be aimed at us. I honestly think we would be the ones to be driven out of the temple with the whip. There is no place in God's kingdom for what the church has become.

Doesn't that make you weep?

You can try to justify, or argue. You can write me off completely. But I think deep down we all know the truth.

We must be better.

Grace and Peace.

Life, God, and the Little Things - Part 2

Let’s fast forward a few months.  The nutshell of the months between January – April were essentially a monotonous routine.  Get up, go to work, come home.  Get up, go to church, come home.  All the while, my wife (rightfully so) continuously brought up the desire for children and my consent to try.  There were days when my responses could have been kinder.  But, she is a strong and forgiving woman.   I am so honored to have her as my wife.

My only solace was in my weekends when I could use my writing or games to escape my reality.  I had resigned to my imprisonment.  I think the phrase, “creep along,” would adequately describe my progression to anything.  Every day it was the same old thing.  I was getting further and further behind on my payments for loans until I reached the point that I couldn’t pay them anymore.  My car had broken down with Sam and I working conflicting schedules (we ended up having to borrow a church member’s vehicle).  Funnily enough, I did get it fixed and it broke down on our way up to Ohio two months later.  That’s another story though.

In April, things were beginning to look better.  My old position at work had opened up and the CEO gave me a call and invited me back.  This was the beginning of resolution to a lot of my issues.  While where I was working at the time had a lot of room for potential growth, there was no growth happening and so I ended up jumping on the offer and gradually worked my way into the customer service position that I am part of today.  During this time I also had a friend move in as a house mate until he could find a job in the Birmingham area.  He’s currently still looking.

Within all that chaos of life, I still found myself completely dead to anything related to religion or Christianity.  I was numb.  I didn’t feel anything, even when playing music where I normally would feel alive.  I felt dead to the world.

At this time I was also dealing with an incredible fear.  One that some of you will relate to, and some may think is utterly ridiculous; a fear of death.  A fear, so intense at times, that I was just shy of a full on panic attack or mental breakdown.  Every night the thought would cross my mind and I felt myself feeling sick.  It was a crippling fear.  And on top of that I was afraid to reveal this fear to others.  I was irrationally afraid that people would look down on me in some way, like I was weak or stupid for having such a fear.

That is until I just sort of blurted it out on the trip coming back from Ohio and no one flinched (except me, in expectation of worse).  Since then the fear has subsided, for the most part.  Occasionally it still haunts me, but every time it is significantly less. 

Which is crazy right?  If I am a Christian, shouldn’t I have no fear of death because of the promise of “eternal life”? 

Maybe, but I think if we are all a little more honest with ourselves, we all go through a point where we deal with it.  I think a more accurate metaphor might be that we are all on a plane ride that we know is going to crash at some point.  We don’t when or where, but we do know one thing.  We have a parachute we can use when that happens, and we cling to it so tightly that our knuckles turn white.  Because we know that while it is still going to be a terrifying experience, it is our salvation from a gruesome death.

And I guess that really sums up what I’m driving at with these posts.  An explanation to what I’ve been working through and why I identify myself as Christian.

The thing is, science is great.  It has taught the human race so many things, and I think it’s great for understanding the physical world around us.  It gives us the facts, the logic, the reason.  And generally, it is unbiased in its conclusions.  That is its purpose.

But

I think we forget how important the heart is too.  In our society, Logic and Reason have become the masters.  It’s about the numbers, the facts, the hard tangible evidence.  But it is only one half of the coin.  Our intuition, instincts, and perceptions are just as valid and important.  That gut feeling when you know something is wrong and you turn out to be right.  There was no logical connection but the connection was there nonetheless.  I’m not even talking about our emotions, though they play a role.  The heart plays a role in understanding anything.

Example:  World War II

Factually, we know that it involved most of the countries in the world dividing into two alliances.  We know that roughly 75 million people lost their lives in that war for various reasons directly connected to it.  We know that Hitler was a key figure. But that doesn’t explain what it felt like to experience it.  It’s just the head knowledge.

A gentleman tells you about D-Day.  He explains his fear, the adrenaline rush he feels, the chaos, the horrors.  He explains everything with great detail on the experience.  And you can relate, because you’ve felt shadows of those emotions.  It is a story that connects with your heart.  It’s the heart knowledge.

On their own, the two are good, but when you put them together you get a much more holistic understanding of the event that was World War II.

Simple, I know, but I think it conveys what I’m trying to say well enough.

It is with this heart and head combo that I try to make every decision.  Because sometimes it is better to have mercy, and other times it is better to show none.  Because not everything can be seen with the naked eye, and sometimes you have to read between the lines.

In that pursuit, at this time I’ve concluded God must exist.  Others will conclude that he doesn’t and they are allowed to believe that just as I am entitled to my own beliefs.  But since this is my blog, you are getting my perspective.  Because sometimes it really is the little things that can bring about a whole new understanding.

In this past year, though, I have seen too much to suggest otherwise.  The impeccable timing, the peace when there should be none, among other things.

As a conclusion, I think C.S. Lewis wrote it best when he wrote The Silver Chair:

“One word, Ma'am," he said, coming back from the fire; limping, because of the pain. "One word. All you've been saying is quite right, I shouldn't wonder. I'm a chap who always liked to know the worst and then put the best face I can on it. So I won't deny any of what you said. But there's one more thing to be said, even so. 

Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things-trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that's a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We're just babies making up a game, if you're right. But four babies playing a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow. That's why I'm going to stand by the play world. I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'm going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn't any Narnia. 

So, thanking you kindly for our supper, if these two gentlemen and the young lady are ready, we're leaving your court at once and setting out in the dark to spend our lives looking for Overland. Not that our lives will be very long, I should think; but that's a small loss if the world's as dull a place as you say.”
 

― C.S. Lewis, The Silver Chair

Grace and Peace

Plight of a Man

I have been working through a lot of stuff lately.  As if my mind has decided that this week was the optimum time to make me question everything again.  What is the purpose of life?  The point of my life?  What does it mean to live?  What does it mean to die?  What comes after death?  What about all the in between stuff, is any of it really worth it?

These thoughts keep me up at night.  These thoughts haunt me throughout the day like a cloud shadows a mountain before the storm ravages its surface.

These things do not depress me.  If anything, the emotions I feel in association with the thoughts that flood my mind are confusion, maybe even frustration.  Perhaps even rage.  An anger so deep that it cools the veins rather than ignites the fire that is passion.

Maybe that is what it is.  I am mad.

I am mad that so much injustice still exists in this world.

I am mad that I feel so helpless.

I am mad that I don't have the answers to the questions people ask every day.  Both the explicit and the implicit.

I am mad that I do not feel about things the way people say I should.

I am mad that I cannot seem to change myself no how much I try.

I am just mad.

Yet, I don't feel mad.  

I don't feel much of anything at all lately.

Sure there are the emotions I experience, the senses that are caressed by wind and light, song and dance, like the gentle touch of a lover's whisper.  I am conscious of them, notice their touch but still feel disconnected in some way.  Disconnected even from my own inhibitions.

I get tired of the need for social courtesies.  Why can't we just say what we mean?  I guess I'm mad about that too.

Hypocrisy, false accusations, debates, "he said, she said", does it ever end?

Of course, the way I'm writing this you would think that something horrible is going on in my life.  Quite the contrary, I couldn't ask for a better time!  I have nothing to complain about and still my mind races.  Still it follows these paths that lead to only God knows where and I'm just pulled along for the ride.

Honestly, I'm not even sure why my mind goes through these cycles.  I always come back to the same conclusions.  I look at the same evidence, the same topics, the same everything as everyone else; yet, my conclusions never shift.  They may expand, but they don't change.

Maybe my anger is just a mask of my fear.  

They say people have either a fight or flight instinct.  I think I'm beginning to see that mine is a fight.  Not only will I fight but I will put everything I am into that fight until only one thing remains.  That thing becomes the victor standing upon the pile of its fallen prey.

I realized the other day that I have no response to Atheism.  None.  I've researched it, I talk with them, and I hear other people's answers, but none of it sits well.  None of it seems quite right.  I'm watching people I love go down a path I feel is the wrong one, that my sense scream against and restrict me from pursuing them.  And I have no response to that?

I feel a little like a child waiting at the end of a long dark hallway.  Afraid to step into the darkness, I desperately hope and even beg that the friend I was following will come back out safe.

I can feel the shift taking place inside of me and I cannot decide if the outcome will be good or bad.  For better or worse though, I do not think I will come out unscathed.  Maybe it is time to walk through the darkness for a while.  How can one who lives in the light understand the darkness if he never experiences it?  After all God created both the Light and the Dark and uses both for his purposes.  Maybe it's time to see the dark side of the moon.

With excitement I end this post.  I feel as if I'm about to embark on a much needed voyage.  Who knows?  Maybe like Caspian I will encounter adventures that forged my heart through trials and storms into the man I need to be.

After all, no good story lacks obstacles to overcome, sacrifices to be made, and battles to be won.  And I think, this is one battle I can avoid no longer.

No more standing idly by, the warrior takes up his sword and shield and turns to face his enemy.  Who's next he wonders.

Grace and Peace.

[EDIT: Two things.  I realize that this post probably makes little to no sense to anyone.  To that my response is: It's late at night and I'm half awake.  Clarification may come later (given my track record though....)

secondly, this is not me saying I don't believe in God or that I'm pursuing Atheism (as I'm sure my post might have insinuated).  I am merely using the term darkness as a metaphor for something that is beyond my understanding at this time.  Mystery, change, the unknown in general.  

As always, if you have any questions feel free to comment or speak with me directly.]  

Christians at War

It has been a few weeks since I posted something and I apologize to those who like to actually follow my thoughts.  I've been pretty busy lately with VBS and the like and honestly I just haven't taken the time to sit down and right.  That's mostly true for my book as well.

I am writing now, however, to express a few thoughts I have been having the past couple of days.  I think I will give this an overarching theme of "Christian Wars".

Christians are constantly seen as being brutal, unkind, unloving, and intolerant of those around us.  I cite Atheists and Homosexuals as being some of the most hated by our "factions" of Christianity.  But, this is not how we should live!  If anything we should be the ones people run to when they need help, not away from because of it!  But everyone has heard that sermon before, no need to repeat it.

I have been engaging (and I say that loosely, I've really mostly been observing) in a very fascinating conversation with a couple of atheists and a good friend of mine via Facebook (which goes to show that it is, in fact, not all bad).  While I don't agree with a lot of what they say, they are very level headed and are not outwardly aggressive to people who, like myself, have taken on the mantle of Christianity (and all it represents, both good and bad) and are willing to discuss.  Discuss, not argue or shove verses at them, just... talk.  In the past two days I have learned more about the complexity of Atheism than I have ever learned in church.

This concerns me for two reasons:
1. Christians are fighting a false enemy.
2. Christians, at large, seem unwilling to educate themselves on true complexity of other religions.

I understand, not all Christians are like this, so please allow me to use it as a generalization and perhaps as recognition of how others most likely see Christianity and those who follow its stipulations.

Christians are fighting a false enemy

Be it Atheism, Homosexuality, or any other aspect of peoples lives that Christians don't agree with, we are constantly seen as fighting against it.  You'll hear on the radio how Christians have boycotted movies (The Golden Compass), or how we should all buy a chicken sandwich in support of a company who happens to be a representation of so much more than one man's opinion, and especially of the church that "hates fags", Westboro Baptist Church (*shiver*).

Christians are at war and I think to some degree we should be.  We are also, however, at war with the wrong enemy.  The enemy isn't the people who are homosexual (they certainly don't need "curing", even I find that word oppressive and offensive on so many levels) and it's certainly not the people who are Atheists.  The enemy isn't people at all.  People are just trying to make it through life like they always have; by following their hearts.  Shouldn't following their hearts lead them to the truth?  Absolutely, but how much of the truth is my question?  Is not our perception of skewed by our reality and our experiences?  Right now, people are casualties of our wars with an increasing rise in numbers.  This is unacceptable.  What's worse is that the fighting isn't limited to just those outside the Church, the body is constantly trying to maim and underhand itself.  No wonder we don't know who or what the real target is!

In all my years of being a Christian, there is one thing that has always stuck out more than anything else.  There is this instruction to yearn for Truth.  To walk and grow -in- Truth.  To love Truth.  If God is Love in it's purest form, God must also be Truth in its purest form.  Truth, did not fight against people, it fought against the lies they had come to accept.  Truth, represented through Christ, turned a world upside down on its head, without shedding a single drop of blood except its own.  Yet, here we are waving our swords back and forth with no direction, skill, or discipline; cutting all who stand in our way.  We are not warriors of light, we are embodiments of the very devils we hate.  This must stop.

Stop fighting for the legislature that controls our country and start fighting for people's hearts.  Stop fighting others opinions and start fighting for truth.  Stop fighting the people who have the courage to come to us for help, and start fighting the thing that is chasing them.  Christians were called to be the hands and feet of God and from where I stand it is a rare thing to find a church who does this.

Christians are unwilling to educate themselves

This is a bit of a sensitive topic I know.  I hesitate even to put the wording as I have, but I think it best represents a very large portion of Christianity, especially within the American culture.  You see, the interesting about fighting a war is that you not only need to know who your enemy is, you also need to know how your enemy is.  How do they fight, what are their weaknesses, what are their strengths, etc.  If we must be at war as Christians, lets make sure we know what we are up against so that when we strike it is with a clean swift stroke and not a bloody mess.

What does this mean?  It means we need to start educating our congregation correctly inside the churches.  It means we need to speak with those people we don't agree with (Muslims, Atheists, Buddhists, etc.) and learn more about them; "sneak into their camp and spy" so to speak.  Find out what is false in their religion, find out what is true. I believe everyone has discovered some truth in their life, so working from those truths is always best.

I realize that I may be coming across in a way that I don't mean to.  The analogy of war alone is a tough one to create and understand without some type of backlash to the one making the analogy.  Still I write this all because I feel like there is a war going on right now, culturally and spiritually.  If we must be at war, let us be at war with the right enemy and for the right reasons.

That concludes my little bit of thought for today.

Grace and Peace.

Story of Life

Everyone wants to be part of a story.  At least, that is what I have concluded.  This thought came about on my way to work this past Tuesday as I let my mind wander (as I tend to do on my way to and from work).  In all honesty, I don't know many people who would say they would rather live a boring uneventful life.  How many of you men pretended to be the hero when you were younger?  How many of you women played house or some other form thereof? How often did you rope your boy friends into playing it with you? 

I think the reason for this is because we want to be a part of the story.  There is something exciting about facing adversity (such as an imaginary dragon) and overcoming it (especially if it involves some makeshift weapon). There is something enticing about adventure. There is also something incredibly significant about feeling important and cherished.  This, I believe, is true for all people and not just men or women.  The fact of the matter is that sometimes, ultimately, we want to be the rescuer, and sometimes we want to be the rescued.  After all, it makes for some of the best stories right?  People do not always have to be physically rescued either, sometimes the emotional rescue is just as satisfying (I site the standard 'chick-flick' in this case; the woman is rescued from her terrible circumstances [usually] by some buff and incredibly romantic dude that [sometimes literally] sweeps the woman off her feet).  While I like a good mushy movie from time to time, I have to admit that oftentimes that genre can cause a perverse desire for the impossible.  Let's face it ladies, there is no way you will ever find that perfect guy.  He doesn't exist.  Those movies pervert the excitement of story that we want to be a part of.  Action films are no different, so we are not exempt from the desire of the impossible either.  I think this might be why I, and many people I know, love the movies that hit close to home and feel "real"; or are blatantly different (such as fantasy or animated) because we know it could never really be, so it is just a "nice story".

The thing about story though, is it is full of conflict.  How many people would read a book if all the character did was the same thing he did every day?  No adventure, no excitement, just routine. How boring would that be?  You see my point.  Story has to have a conflict, or the character never grows, and if the character doesn't grow what is the point?  Are we really all that different?  Who does not want to improve an aspect about themselves?  Who does not want to be a part of something that is life and maybe world changing? I know I do, I could give a list of the aspects I would like to improve in myself, and of course I want to constantly be a part of something that is bigger than me.  I want to be a Hero! But, to be a hero, I also need to be rescued.  Rescued from what though? 

Now we are getting to the heart of it.

Every Protagonist has a starting point to their story.  It is an understood concept that the main character(s) of any story had a "life" before the story and will have continued "life" after the story ends.  After all, life is a series of stories skillfully woven together.  Well, the starting point for so many involves a rescue of some sort.  Sometimes it is a literal rescue from a prison, sometimes it is a rescue from mundane, sometimes it is a rescue from themselves, and the list goes on.  How often is the protagonist (and us too really) rescued from something so that they might "live to fight another day"?  That day of course arrives only after time spent in conflict and growth.  After all, you can't overcome any problem if you don't grow, and you can't grow without the experience of the adversity that you are trying to overcome.  This is why, as much as I dislike hard times, I have at least some appreciation for them.  The truth is that the things that tend to cause the most pain in my life are the very things that spur me to become a better man, husband, brother, son, and friend.

Every conflict is a battle, every resolution a victory or defeat, every victory or defeat is a learning experience, and every experience acts as a catalyst to the next cycle of growth. 

Naturally, I wonder how the the concept of story that I love so much, applies to my life.  As I look I can see different conflicts that have brought out a warrior in me in just the past year alone, so then I wondered where did the rescue come from, and I realized that, it came from a sacrifice that happened a couple thousand years ago.

I have made no efforts to hide that I call myself a Christian, and have out-rightly claimed it often, so it should come as no surprise that I would find my rescue in the sacrifice and resurrection of Christ.  But it is true, since Christ captured and romanced my heart I have found a purpose to fight, a reason and cause worth dying for.  I hope it is plain to see that I am not happy with the way many people who claim to be Christian have treated others, but I also cannot deny the changes that have happened in my life due to the freedom from salvation, from being rescued from my sins, my worries, and even my anger (to name a few).  It is also Christ who has mentored me into the man I need to be, that I want to be, because it is who I am.  He is making me a Hero.

Today is Good Friday.  Despite calling it that, it is one of the saddest days in history when you think about what is celebrated in the Christian circles: The Crucifixion of Christ.  The reason it is a good Friday then, is because not only was the crucifixion necessary for salvation from sins, but also promises the resurrection which is celebrated on Easter Sunday.  The resurrection completes the story.  It is reason I can claim freedom.  If Christ did not rise from the grave, then freedom is non existent.  That's a strong claim though, so let me clarify by saying that I can only go off resurrection as I understand it now.  Who knows what revelations will be made in the future?

I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Grace and Peace.

The Religion of Christianity

This past week the pastor of the church I go to asked the question if Christianity is a religion. A valid question and one that is surprisingly highly debated. I cannot begin to count the amount of times I have heard it said, “Christianity is not a religion, it is a relationship.” I am guilty of using this phrase as well.

I once believed the statement, but after the years I have experienced at college and since graduation. I truly believe that there is something more to Christianity than just its religion. There is experiences I have had that lead to this belief; ones that have meant an intimate connection with a personal God. However, Christianity is still a religion, no matter how much some might want to twist that around.

Definition of Religion:

a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, especially when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.

And,

the practice of religious beliefs; ritual observance of faith.

I pose a question, how is this not what Christianity does? Does it contain beliefs concerning the universe? Does it involve devotional and ritual observances? What about a moral code? If nothing else, no one can deny that Christianity claims a moral code. By definition alone, Christianity is a religion. One that has created a bad taste in the mouths of those who have encountered it; which is such an unfortunate truth.

The problem is, people within the Christian sub-culture view religion as this mysterious, dark monster that is of the devil. In truth, religion is a neutral thing. A way to define an aspect of life. I have to admit at this point in my post I had to delete a couple of sentences that were full of undertones that implied bitterness and hinted of a rant.

The fact is Christianity has become institutionalized. I guess I should define that too.

An institution is a well-established and structured pattern of behavior or of relationships that is accepted as a fundamental part of a culture. [insert Christianity]

When you think of a Christian, what do you associate with it? Having grown up in that culture my first response is this, church. Church is the place where people go once to twice a week to sing a few songs, listen to some guy (maybe a woman if it's one of those “liberal churches”) talk about the Bible, and then leave. Seriously, I think Christianity as an institution acts more like a cult than what's portrayed in the scriptures. But again, that's a different blog post.

To reiterate at this point, I believe Christianity is a religion.

However, I think there is something more to it than just the religious practices. This is where the experience, intuition, intellect, and discernment/interpretation of those things. That is to say, an individuals approach to religious interpretation.

In my case, the approach would be that of the relationship that is so often spoken of by people within Christianity. The fact of the matter is, much of our faith banks on this idea of a personal and intimate deity. While it might sound crazy, I have had experiences that have led to confirm this belief. The problem with experiences is that they are just that, experiences. I have a high appreciation for experiences and believe that they are incredibly valuable. However, they are also incredibly subjective, which is why they are usually under valued. Still, experiences, at the end of the day, is really all we have. They define our perceptions of reality and they are one of the few things that we can truly call our own.

I guess this is what I'll conclude with because this post is starting to feel broken. Maybe I'll post again on this in the future when my thoughts are a little more coherent.

Grace and Peace