Monday, July 4, 2011

Trusting to be Delivered

There are many things in this world I simply do not understand. Sometimes, I do not even really understand my own responses to situations at hand.

For example, someone might say something crude at work, and deep inside of me there is something disgusted by it, and yet I laugh. I hide behind a mask of tolerance, I suppose, and I have to wonder if it really is acceptable. Of course, the answer is no. As a believer of the truths found within Scripture, I cannot say that my actions are "Okay". Yet, I still feel this thing within me that shuns away from being assertive about it all. It is not that I am ashamed of my Savior, for indeed if I was I might not mention anything about him at all. No, I believe at some point or another it intrinsically comes down to my subconscious level of trust in Him.

This 4th of July I wanted to discuss my opinions on the fact that every church around the world shouts "God Bless America", and then ignores the blessings that God has provided for them in abundance. Instead, I find myself struggling with this question that occurred to me only a few days ago. Do I trust God?

Now, I would definitely say that I have faith in God, but that really isn't the same thing is it? To have faith is to believe in something that may not be seen. uses this as one of its definitions of faith:

Belief that is not based on proof.

I would say that every person exhibits faith in some form or another. Some choose to have faith in reason, some in a supernatural being, and still others in money or something else, but all operate on faith.

However, the fact of the matter is, faith is not the same as trust, and yet, we use it so interchangeably that we forget about the differences. Faith tends to be a matter of head knowledge, while trust, at least for me, tends to be putting faith into practice and operates on a level based off my heart. In fact to quote again, trust is:

Reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.

Relying on someone is a whole lot more emotionally involving than having faith in someone.

Which brings me back to the question: Am I (are we) trusting God?

Do I trust God to provide money for that Water Bill I can't pay this week?
Do I trust God to give me the kind of job I need so that I can provide for my family?
Do I trust God to defend me when I attempt to stand for what is right?
Do I trust God to take control of my life so that it will glorify Him rather than myself?
Do I trust God?

I have begun reading a book by Brennan Manning called Ruthless Trust. And within the very first chapter, Manning makes this comment (paraphrase), "God finds Trust so enticing and desirable that Christ died for the love of it." That thought blew my mind, and it has led to a deepening in my understanding of God.

Trust is allowing myself to be OK with the fact that I may have to quit one job after only six weeks of work, to submit to another position that would be full-time because it would be closer and provide for my family better.

Trust is expecting and almost demanding God to take over me so that I can love my family, friends, and strangers with His love and not my meager attempts at kindness.

Trust is maintaining a confidence in the face of doubt and uncertainty that everything will be all right because God loves you too much to let you go.

Trust is a decision.
Love is a decision.

Trust is a decision to put all your hopes, dreams, quirks, failures, successes, everything, into the love of the Father.

Trust is being vulnerable, unarmed, undefended, naked.

Trust is about a human Being, and not a human Doing.

Trust is... Surrender.

Complete and total surrender to a Master who conquered the city of sin that I was in and being pleasantly surprised by the freedom there is in being a slave. I've never thought about it that way before.

Do I trust God? Not as intrinsically as I used to or should, no. But, and this is the beautiful part of it all; God is teaching me what it is to trust in Him again. Will you join me?

Grace and Peace