I Had A Dream Last Night...

...It was really interesting. I dreamed that I was at a place, a school of some kind. It didn't look like Toccoa, but there were a lot of people there that I knew from Toccoa (Unfortunately I can't remember any specifics on this section. Only that there were people I recognized in the dream). And the weirdest thing about this is that my girlfriend was a student here as well. That's what made it weird, and I didn't know how to react to it. In the dream I was excited because I was preparing to go out on a date with her, and so I come up to her dorm room door and knock. Her roommate answers (her face is obscured so I don't know who she is, or what she looks like, and yes I know knocking on her dorm door is a peculiar thing) and I ask if Lety is around. She tells me no, and I ask where she is. Just as I ask that I turn to my left to see that Lety was walking towards me. At that moment I felt a surge of overwhelming joy and I gave her a hug, twirled her around while hugging her, and then kissed her. We talked for a few moments then the dream ends.

I find myself in another one directly after that. This one is a bit different, but Lety is still with me, except this time Bobbi and Dustin are sitting across from us (and there are two other random people on the inside of this booth at whatever restaurant we are at. Not sure who they were, I guess friends of ours or something). So this is when I'm really confused, because I don't know how I got here, but I shrug and introduce Bobbi to Lety and Dustin. The funny thing is I remember what I called Bobbi haha, it was like "And this is Bobbi, Dustin's girlfriend... fiance, I mean." Then realized that Dustin was married by then and before I could correct myself Dustin chided in, "my wife." I blush and we continue talking about something. The dream ended there because I woke up after that.

It really was a weird dream, and I figured I would forget about it after a day of doing other things, but nope, it's still there, so I figured I would post on it. What do you peeps thing? It could be a vision of what's to come, it could represent something special or important, or it could be absolutely nothing. *shrugs* Oh well... makes for a good story if nothing else. tootles!

Work, Sunburns, and a Slap in the Face

So honestly I don't really know how to feel right now. It is a mixture between frustration, anxiousness, pain, sorrow, and complete uselessness. So I guess I better start off with what's bugging me first. As I expected was only a matter of time, my parents found out about my grades and of course had to address it. It's not that I don't blame them, I'm just so tired of this stupid talk that is told over and over again. It's not like I didn't try... anyway, after all the talking and feeling like I fail at life and such, my mom basically left me with the fact that she isn't willing to pay for school if I'm not getting the education she's paying for without getting a good result (good grades and I also lost my $5000 scholarship. My GPA was 1 point short) So my mother ended up telling me that basically there is a possibility I won't be coming back to TFC for a semester. Now before everyone panics I just want you to know that it isn't set in stone, but it is a possibility, and it's a possibility that I do not like the idea of, but there is little control I have in all this. Not only that but I am really concerned about how I am going to raise money for Chile, LIFE, and a wedding. I have to be doing a lot of work, but I just don't think I will get everything I need. *sigh* sometimes I hate life. OH, and not only that, but despite my semi-relaxing weekend, I got a horrible sunburn with lot's of water blisters and grossness *shivers* *screams with frustration*

OK, now for the plus, so that I don't feel like life is completely gone to hell. A friend and I have been working on these videos and other media stuff for the camp that I work at. These have been going really well, and have been hilarious to watch, so I am really happy how they end up. I spent all day today doing a series of small videos involving someone getting own'd up in paintball. It was really fun, and then I got to swim a little so that was a plus.

I'm tired, and I want to write some poetry so I'll post later. BYE!

A Break in the Action

So I can finally give my peeps a chance to catch up on my life. So this past Tuesday was the last day of finals (thank God!) and also the day of a Maylene and the Sons of Disaster, Living Sacrifice, and Underoath concert. It rocked! (And for clarification for those who don't know those three groups are all "Christian" Hardcore bands. I think I threw out a muscle in my back, but I really needed the insanity of the concert to get away from the insanity of school, plus I got to eat some good pizza after the concert and got to hang out with good friends.

Then I stuck around in Toccoa until today when I left after graduation. So now i'm back home, and I have the chance to relax and update after visiting with my fam for a little. Now I'm going to look at pictures my girlfriend sent me for my birthday. (don't worry there not nudies or anything ^_^). Tootles!

Pictures and Poetry!

Timeless Sleep


Amusement's Joy


Sky's Battle


Seasonal Falling


Mountain Blues

OK... so intermission. I took most of these pictures... All but the one of myself I believe (maybe my nephew too, my mom might have taken that) but I played around with the pictures on picasa, and when Deviant Arts server gets back to it's usual self I will put these up on it. Although I want to post it somewhere so here it is! Now onto the poem I wrote today for fun.


Silent Tears
by: Austin

I look up with my eyes closed,

The rain pelts my saturated face,

Hiding the silent tears,

That now seem to come so easily.

The pain that you feel,

I can feel it too.

It is like we are connected

Like my heart is yours and yours mine.

I don’t know what happened,

But I know you hurt.

I am in pain because you hurt,

And you hurt because I am in pain.

This existentialist feeling,

Is a phenomenon I love and hate.

I know how to care for you,

In the most dire situations,

And when to rejoice in the pleasant times.

Yes, the rain covers my tears today,

For I do not want you to see,

That I am in pain from your hurt,

From the pain that consumes your life.

One day, you will be OK,

One day, joy will consume you,

And His love will burn within you,

One day, I will no longer have to hide my tears.

Cyrano de Bergerac

Well today has felt more like two days. I woke up this morning at about 8:00, made it to class at 8:30 (which it is an 8:30 class for clarification) and took a Music Theory test. Which I think I did a pretty good job of doing. Next was chapel which, unfortunately, I had to skip in preparation for the group presentation that was directly afterward at 11:00. I think it went well, if not too long for my tastes, but oh well it's in the past. Then there was work which passed with little to no problems so that is good.

So now for the exciting part of my day. I went to a place called Casey's Pro Tire and asked them to rotate my tires and change my oil. I also told them about a squeal that I was hearing, thinking it was the axel. OH NO! It was the rotter (sp?) on the front right tire was completely warn down as were my brakes. *sigh* this left me with a $130+ fee to pay, and all I wanted was my oil change and tires rotated. So that passes little problem after that.

Then there is the play that I went to tonight. It was called Cyrano de Bergerac. It was AWESOME. It was put on by the people here who want to start a drama club. I loved it, and I am going to see how much I can get involved next semester. ^_^

So that's a small update. Been updating my DeviantArt like crazy. If you want to read my poetry you should go to Hikarou.deviantart.com That is where all my most recent stuff is located. Kdone advertising myself. tootles.

Heavenly Place

The smell of new rain,

The gentle breeze covering my face,

It has taken me far too long,

To reach this heavenly place.

I found you my Love,

In a place I did not expect.

There, in the center of a grove,

You stood in the midst of red roses.

You called out to me,

And I fell at your feet.

My journey had exhausted me,

But you leaned down and gave a kiss so sweet.

The passion in your almond eyes

Made my heart leap.

As I closed my eyes, I heard a peculiar sound.

I opened my eyes to see I had been asleep.

Here is some random poetry for yous!

Love Heals - Rent

Like a breath of midnight air. Like a lighthouse, like a prayer.
Like the flicker and the flare, the sky reveals.
Like a walk along the shore. That you've walked a thousand times before. Like the oceans roar.
Love heals.
There are those who shield their hearts. Those who quit before they start.
Who frozen up the part of them that feels Background Don't freeze your heart
In the dark they've lost their sight. Like a ship without a star in the night, but hold on tight.

Love heals
When you feel like you can't go on
Love heals
Hold onto love, it'll keep you strong
Love heals
When you feel like you can't go on
Love heals

Hold onto love, it'll bring you home
Love heals when pain's too much to bear. When you reach out your hand, and only wind is there.
When life's unfair. When things like us are not to be.
Love heals when you feel so small, like a grain of sand. Like nothing at all.
When you look out at sea, thats where love will be. Thats where you'll find me. You'll find me.
So if you fear the storm ahead
As you lie awake in bed
And there's no one, no one to stroke your hand. And your mind reels, you mind reels
If your face is salty wet, and you're drowning in regret, just....
Don't forget
Love Heals

Carry On My Wayward Son

{Refrain
Carry on my wayward son
There'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more

Once I rose above the noise and confusion
Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion
I was soaring ever higher
But I flew too high
Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man
Though my mind could think I still was a mad man
I hear the voices when I'm dreaming
I can hear them say

{Refrain

Masquerading as a man with a reason
My charade is the event of the season
And if I claim to be a wise man, well
It surely means that I don't know

On a stormy sea of moving emotion
Tossed about I'm like a ship on the ocean
I set a course for winds of fortune
But I hear the voices say

{Refrain

No!Carry on, you will always remember
Carry on, nothing equals the splendor
The center lights around your vanity
But surely heaven waits for you

Carry on my wayward son
There'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry (don't you cry no more)

Good or Bad?

Happy 1st of May! or, maybe not so happy. I don't know it really depends on the day you've had. Like I know for me I could answer both ways.

On the positive. Nothing is wrong with me, or my day. It was fairly productive, I made it to class (finally!) and overall the day has been OK. On the negative: spiritually I have felt oppressed. I have gotten that from people I know, and from all this stupid stuff that shouldn't have even bothered me.

I am finding it very hard to be nice to certain people as of late. I think mostly it is because they have something about them that makes me edgy, but I also think it has something to do with me and my attitude in general. Please God help me through this....

Fear not dear citizens! This post is not nearly as long as the last. In fact I am practically done. I want to rant, but I know I won't feel any better if I do so I'll just call it quits. Besides, I don't know what to rant about because honestly I don't know what the problem is... there are so many... Moving on. Here's some lyrics to commemorate May and Not giving up.

"One-X"

Do you think about
Everything you've been through
You never thought you'd be so depressed
Are you wondering
Is it life or death
Do you think that there's no one like you

We are
We are
We are
We are the ones
We get knocked down
We get back up and stand above the crowd
We are one
We are the ones
We get knocked down
We get back up and stand above the crowd
We are one

The life I think about
Is so much better than this
I never thought I'd be stuck in this mess
I'm sick of wondering
Is it life or death
I need to figure out who's behind me

We are
We are
We are
We are the ones
We get knocked down
We get back up and stand above the crowd
We are one
We are the ones
We get knocked down
We get back up and stand above the crowd
We are one

The life I think about
Is so much better than this
I never thought I'd be stuck in this mess
I'm sick of wondering
Is it life or death?

We are the ones
We get knocked down
We get back up and stand above the crowd
We are one
We are the ones
We get knocked down
We get back up and stand above the crowd
We are one

We stand above the crowd
We stand above the crowd
We stand above the crowd (Crowd)
(We stand) We stand above the crowd
We stand above the crowd (We Stand)
We stand above the crowd

(We are the ones) We stand above the crowd
(We get knocked down get back up) We stand above the crowd
(We are the ones) We stand above the crowd
(We get knocked down get back up) We stand above the crowd

We stand above the crowd
We stand above the crowd
We stand above the crowd