What A Bloody Mess

Life provides interesting twists. Never have I felt so close and yet so distant to a situation. I know it's good to step back and look at the bigger picture, but when did so much adversity arise. Although, much of it is self-induced, because I worry way too much.

No, I will not reascend my decision. I have full confidence in this, not only in the God I serve (who guide my every way), but also in my ability to hear Him. So I'm left with the problem of how can I share my heart in this way, to show what I see, and to see what He sees, and to show it to those around me?

The great thing about God, is that He does not affect your free will, and that He will allow you to make decisions and follow whichever path you choose, with His blessings following you (though depending on the path, the blessings may vary). The really frustrating thing about God, is that He does not affect your free will, and that He will allow you to make decisions and follow whichever path you choose.

So this path I chose... will I lose blessings? Yes. Will I gain others? Yep. Will I embark on a path that was much harder than the previous one? Absolutely. Do I trust God enough to reveal to me where I am messing up and to stop me when necessary? Yes. Is He trying to stop me in this? From what I can see, He's encouraging me further. So what then creates the haze, and the hesitation? Adversity.

I value my friends opinions, I trust them to tell me what's going on and to share it in a way that does not equal death. However, I realize that they can be wrong, and sometimes (perhaps) God reveals only part of the whole so that they can create adversity. Because it is in adversity that I become confident in my decisions. It is in adversity that my trust and faith in God gets tested, and He pulls me through. It is in adversity that I grow and become strong. And life just does not stay interesting without a little risk, and a little adversity.

Thus, I will continue on, and I will press through, and I will trust Him to teach me and correct me, and encourage, and refine me. Because He is good, and if I did not trust Him, then there really is no one I can trust.