Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Darkened Days

So, I've decided that I probably won't be posting my thoughts on my beliefs until I am ready to defend them, because someone pointed out that this is probably being a bit too public and I agree, so I will put my final thoughts on scripture and what I have been working through as this. First, these are THOUGHTS and not beliefs about Scripture... these are things I'm working through and deciding for myself. Second, just because I may be thinking that Scripture is not the Word of God but rather words from God, doesn't mean I think it is any less important, I just see the importance differently that is all. I still believe it essential, just not in the way that I was taught all my life. That is the final piece I'm putting up about this until I'm sure I know what I believe and why.

Moving on...

Today has seemed so dark, and I'm sure a lot of it has to do with the way the day has presented itself with it being rainy and eerily quiet, but I think there is something more. Today at lunch there was something that passed by me that almost had me jittery. I could feel it, as if a demon was just lurking around me, staring at me, and pondering what it wanted to do to me. Nothing happened, thanks to God I can only assume, but it definitely was a bit disconcerting to feel it so strongly. *shivers* There is something about this campus that always feels off, but I don't know what it is. Is it the elitist mindset that so many have? Is it this atmosphere that says, "be this or you aren't a Christian" (which is appalling by the way)? Or is there something more, or something I haven't seen? Whatever it is, it sometimes presents a bizarre feeling when I'm walking around.

Yesterday was really sunny and the temperature was probably pretty close to 71F which is awesome. It was good day, but there was also some foolish things that I did that I had to own up to. Those things are obviously not going to be disclosed on such a public setting, so get over it. This week has been slow, and very tiresome as well... I guess part of that comes from the World Missions Conference atmosphere, but there isn't much I can do about that.

I have loved having it raining these past couple of days. Rain is so peaceful, usually.

In Church Truth and Destiny class today we discussed why revelation from God is not considered be authoritative why the Church is. Obviously there were verses to back it up, in 1 Corinthians and 2 Thessalonians I believe. We discussed that sometimes there are two contradicting revelations, and I have to wonder, why would God contradict Himself? If God is a God of order and not chaos, which I believe He is because of what I have learned from being in a relationship with Him, then why would he send mixed messages? To cause confusion? Why would He want to cause confusion? To make us rely on Him? But weren't we already looking to Him and relying on Him in order to get that revelation? If so, then why? Why confusion? Food for thought I guess.

Only one more class today, and then an evening chapel *sigh* I am so sick of chapels... I feel like I'm going to church every day, which in itself wouldn't be so bad if the speakers weren't being so shallow with their messages. I know that someone must be getting something out of it, or at least I HOPE that is true, but for me it feels so boring. Where is the deeper concepts in it? Tomorrow, Men's Choir is going to do some singing, which should be fun, but I need some brown shoes that aren't sneakers >_< I forgot mine back home, haha. I sense a wal-mart run soon, if I'm lucky. If not I'll just wear some black pants and black shoes. Also, I think I figured out the problem with my speakers... I think there is a short in some of the cables, I will test this theory later today, and probably do some chapter summaries, although the ones due this week are already done, w00t.

So I leave you with something I aspire for,

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