Monday, March 2, 2009


"God Have Mercy On Me, A Sinner"

This is the thought that keeps running through my head...

I went home this weekend as a way of a sabbatical, and an opportunity to see family. It was very refreshing to be surrounded by a peaceful atmosphere that allowed me to step back and reflect on myself some. Not only that, but I got to relax and goof off some, which was also a big help in relieving some of the stress levels.

I realized a few days ago that I had become incredibly cynical to everything that goes on here at TFC and I think it bled over into my views on other people's opinions as well. This is extremely unfortunate because I did not know I was cynical much less when I became that way, but fortunately this weekend brought about some time to just talk with God and deal with the issue. I don't really know what I'm going to do to stop being so critical of everything that happens, but I do know that God is going to help me and that is good enough for me. I would like to find the core of the issue behind my cynicism though. I suppose a few options could be compiled under being hurt, or "burned", by the administration here (although, that seems unlikely since I have had very little interaction with them; being burdened with the desire for the right thing to be done, causing me to be harsh on things when they aren't done right (real loving,huh?); or it could be that the way my friends have been have impacted the perspective lense with which I view the world. I'm guessing it is a combination of the last two. Regardless, I need to overcome it, and I need to trust God to do the things He needs to get this place kicking.

Random side thought: How do I prevent myself from taking on other people's burdens when I don't even know how or when I'm doing it? The answer is: I can't. Just another one of those times I'm going to have to let God shove me around as I'm blindfolded. It is impossible to see, but trust in Him will lead me to where I need to be, doing the things I need to be doing.

So, anyway, I got to spend a relaxing time with some of my fam, and learn a little about myself, and the best part is I think that I've come back different than when I left (in a good way). I at least feel different, but that good be the fact that my burden was lifted. Then, as if God was going "You're heart has become this once again", It snowed this morning blanketing the ground with a pure, untouched, white wonderland. It was probably one of the most beautiful things I've seen in nature in a while; it was nice.

Grace and Peace

"He looked at me and said, 'It is good.'"

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