It is hard to take control of elements that before now I've never had to deal with. It is so much easier to allow God to have control. I am able to be stress free in all my busyness, during all the times I'm trying to follow my "To do" list. Am I worried about doing well in school, about doing my best for Wednesday night lessons, or about trying to have an apartment ready by May 1? Absolutely, but I can and do have peace about all of it if I stop trying to do it myself. God has been reminding me to just, "Live and let God." With Him in control then I know it can all get done, and in a timely fashion... His time.
I'm going to get my car looked at today. I hope that the overall cost is no more than $200 when everything is said and done because that is all I really have at the moment. In fact, despite the fact that I've been trying to keep a close eye on my finances, the chances of them being on a lower scale than I realize are probably fairly high. Some of it could not be helped I think, with the need for gas and oil (which is why I'm going to get the leak fixed) it's hard to not spend money.
I've got a lot to do, but I know that I can get it all done because God is in control.
Yesterday was my grandfather's 1 year death day. I can't say that I'm not saddened by the thought a little bit, especially when I think of how he won't be at my wedding, and I really wanted him to be there. However, I can say that I do not suffer from mourning or depression, but rather a sense of happiness for him because he is with the Savior, and what could be more beautiful and pleasurable than being with the Creator and Savior of the world. He is not dead, he is only sleeping until Christ returns, and I look forward to seeing him once again as we gather around the throne in worship; and who knows, maybe he, Jesus, and I will all go fishing sometime.
My birthday is in 2 days! Woohoo!