Do you ever have a day when you feel nothing? Like, you know you should feel at least something, but when it comes right down to it, you don't? That is how I've been feeling lately, and it's been bothering me.
At one point this week a man shared his testimony about how he had to shoot a kid while in Iraq because he had to protect his men, and they couldn't convince the kid to stop. So he took the shot and killed the kid. And I know I'm not giving all the detail, but because of that experience he couldn't find peace or rest about it until he came to know Christ. Everyone I knew there was tearing up and looked sad and stuff... I felt nothing. My head told me that it was bad, and that by thought I knew that there should be sympathy, but I felt absolutely nothing. I don't understand.
Am I numb? I know that I should be concerned for the people who are dying and going to hell, but when I examine myself... I don't. I act concerned and I want to help them, but again I don't feel it. I'm not saying I want be crying over it, I just don't like the fact that I can't get a single emotion out of me when anything is concerned... it's almost like whenever I have a feeling (however rare) it lasts for only a minute and I am back down to my callousness, my numbness.
*shrugs* What's a guy to do?