Sunday, September 23, 2007


I have a lot on my mind lately, and yet, I can't even bring it into a comprehensible conglomeration of anything. Not even a pile of mess, just one big chaotic vortex. Today was the first day of the missions conference we are having at our church. We had a missionary talk to us for a few minutes over the internet... one of those video teleconference things. It was really cool, and good to see how God is working over there in Mongolia. And then this evening Larry talked about being there for each other. He used a passage in Ecclesiastes that was talking about how two are better than one. He did a good job, and it played right into the missions theme we had, which was completely unintentional, and I find that even more amazing. God used his message and gave him that message before he even knew how it was coming to come out... fascinating.

I actually had a peculiar thought this morning. It could be nothing, or it could be a huge change in my life. When watching one of videos, I had a sudden urge to learn counseling and go to Chile to become a marriage counselor, because Chileans have a 50% divorce rate. 1/2 of all the people who get married will get divorced, that's so sad! Again, random thought.

The AC isn't working in the house right now >_< and boy is it HOOOTT!! I think the last time I saw the thermometer it said the house was at 90 degrees! But even in all this heat, I am content.

I probably did something completely dangerous spiritually today. I told God to break me. I asked Him, begged Him to do it. I feel like I need it. I'm tired of getting the glancing blows, and just gotten to the point where I'm like "God, just hit me." I know I need it, and I guess getting to the point of brokenness is also getting to the point of understanding the abundant life that God has promised us. I don't think I ever reached that stage of "going into the deeper life" and I think that is where a lot of my problems come from. Then again, who knows. Maybe I experienced it before, but I just need to get back into it.

I have to preach next Sunday evening. I am completely unprepared, and at the same time, my message is already complete. I don't really understand how that works, but God has it, and I know that if it is in His hands then it will be what He wants it to be; regardless of length or word play.

I guess I got my thoughts out now... huzzah!

1 comment:

Ferrari said...

so yeah it is a very dangerous thing.... i just realized i asked God the same thing. I told him i wanted to be broken, and nothing happened, until the past month or so. Hmmm....