See How Much I Love You...
It's hard to see how God loves us sometimes. I know He does, but right now I don't feel it at all. I mean let me put it this way. Today, and yes it really is about 5:45am, I am getting ready to go to the prayer meeting which starts at 6:00am and I get in my car, turn the key, the engine starts to crank, and then everything dies. I am almost positive it's an electrical problem... anyway, normally I would think "Um...k... not a HUGE deal, I have time and I can get it fixed." However, right now I actually want to freak out because:
a) Honestly, I might not have the finances for this, and
b) I am supposed to go home today, how am I going to get there without a car?
And I know that "God is in control," but still when stuff like this happens, and you know God has the power to fix it, sometimes... I just don't feel the love. *sigh*
I was really sick Sunday with some kind of 24 hour stomach virus, yuck! Ironically though, I got a good life lesson out of puking, aside from the fact that puking, though horrible in feeling, actually is a lot quicker than siting on the toilet for three hours every hour (I know that's a bit of a paradox, but oh well). I learned, or maybe was reminded, that surrendering to God isn't always pleasant, you know? People are always saying, myself included, "Oh, if you just surrender that to God, He'll take care of it." This is true, however, I don't think people really take into account how painful that can be sometimes when we say it. Just a thought.
So since I missed the prayer meeting and all, I guess I am going to go back to bed for a few more hours before all my stress hits me in the face. I hope I don't have to ask one of my parents to come and get me... that would insanely inconvenient.
I have recently just returned to my home, sadly missing the funeral of my landlord's mother-in-law, but still happy to the fact that I only paid $30.11 to have my car fixed. Which is much better than the original $230 that was projected if I had gotten my starter replaced. Thank you Lord for it only being loose wiring.