Thursday, January 3, 2008

Broken Wine Glasses

Today has been... different to say the least. It wasn't necessarily bad, but it wasn't great either.

I spent most of the day cleaning today. I couldn't believe how much crap I found, but a lot of it was cool to see as well: old pictures, drawings, poetry, and even personal thoughts on the random occasion. I've really come a long way since being fifteen and even younger. I have so many holes in my memory that it is disturbing. It's as if the years 1-13 are completely nonexistent. It bothers me a little, but I think most of us have that problem, then again, I could be the only odd ball out there who has this problem, and that's OK too, but it just seems weird to me that out of all the things I found today, I couldn't remember about 2/3 of them. Why did I write/draw it? What was I doing at the time? When was this? Nothing fills in, and I'm left with a picture that anyone could have drawn.

On a completely different note, today felt very surreal. I had a friend who seems to be still fighting something of which I can't be speaking of. But it's frustrating, because I almost cry for her everytime it happens. I find myself constantly asking God how much longer she must endure such things, and God always gives me the same answer, "Wait, and you will see".

I hate waiting. Maybe that is why God hasn't allowed TFC to tell me anything about whether or not I'm accepted. I've called, sent e-mails, and have heard from them twice, and both times, they asked the same things, and I told them they already had those parts of the paperwork *sigh* ces't la vie. Whatever happens, it's in God's control. (No gloating, I still don't regret my decision *points*) I know that I am where I am supposed to be at this time, I just hate waiting.

I feel as though I have been pulled into a hurricane, and the only thing I can do is grit my teeth and wait out the storm, until the spinning stops, and I am no longer twirling in the sea of confusion and chaos.

So, I'm pretty sure that Dan should save his posts because they are novel worthy. These past couple of posts I've been reading have really been hitting home, especially the most recent one that I've read. But I guess that could be that he and I go through a lot of the same things in some form or another, around the same time. It's great to have friends like that I think, that way, it's a fight together, rather than separate.

I got nothing else. Tomorrow presents more cleaning, and more questions, and thus another day passes by... welcome doomed 2008... see ya dead 2007

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