Sunday, April 29, 2007

Let's Start a Riot!

So, I don't really know why I feel the need to write something down but I just do. So I guess I will ramble on until I feel like I have written enough. Haha, that is pathetic isn't it?

Well, I had a friend visit this past week. Her name is Joy, and she is an amazing friend. I have missed her, and being able to visit with her a little has been a nice change of pace. Alas, now she is gone and it will be another few months before I see her again, assuming she is able to come back to TFC at all. I mean, they are increasing the amount of money needed to pay tuition. *le sigh*

I've decided that I find it near impossible to hate someone. That use to not be true. I used to be a very VERY hateful person. The same way Josiah can be at times now, is how I used to be. However, lately (only by God's love and grace) I cannot seem to be able to hate anyone. Mind you, I'm not complaining... it is just a new feeling that I'm not used to yet. I have heard people tell me over and over again over the past few months of how they hate this, that, or so-n-so, and all I can think of is how they shouldn't hate anyone at all. It frustrates me, and I hate that thinking, but I don't hate the people who think it. I love them... there is no other way to say it, but I love them. Altruism... haha, I haven't talked about that in a while. I wonder if I had just been through a long spell of silence from God and now He's hitting me up again. You know kind of like, "I know you want to help, but take a break for a while." and now it is "Hey, I have an assignment for you!" I find it very amusing that God works with me in such a way.
I've also discovered that God has given me the spiritual gift of prophecy. I find this intensely fascinating since I've been seeking this gift off and on for a few years (even before my camp experience with a prophecy being spoken over me). I had not been sure of this gift being given until recently when someone prayed over my gift of prophecy and their asking God to expound on it and expand it in such a way that glorified Him (btw, I didn't tell this person that I thought I had received the gift). So that was amazing. During this same prayer, this person also prayed over me to receive the gift of tongues. So if I receive that, which I think I will considering that God was the one who asked me to have prayer over me about, then many more changes will be coming my way. Changes that will be terrifying at first, but then by the time things come around again they will be amazing and I am looking forward to these changes. After all, God is STILL developing my gift of discerning spirits... It's a gift, a great gift, but at times it can be a troublesome thing to have.
Let me try to explain. I love having this gift, and I still need to learn how to discern the spiritual things I feel, and trust me, I feel things ALL THE TIME. There haven't been many days where I don't feel something. Whether it is peace, or turmoil from someone I always feel something. The days I don't feel "something" is because of someone making their emotions a "void" and so I feel the emptiness instead of the intensity. Now the reason that this can be troublesome is that I don't always know what the it is I'm feeling. Sometimes (well, many times) I feel this ominous presence and I have no idea what it could represent. I ask God and many times He remains silent. It isn't until after things have cleared up that I realize what it was. So it is still a gift under heavy development, and add that to prophecy and tongues and wow do I have a full schedule ahead of me. I know that God has some big plans for me, and I am excited about it, but at the same time I'm a little scared. Not, scared... I guess anxious is a better word. Trembling with excitement and having butterflies for trying something new. It's like getting on a rollercoaster for the first time you know? Or learning to love a woman you barely know as a friend... and then realizing that before you know it you are considering marrying that girl after three years. Man time flies...

Yeah, have I never mentioned that? I am planning on talking to my girlfriend's dad this summer and asking for her hand in marriage. I know I don't have a ring yet, but that is just one of the many steps that need to be taken.

There was a theme either last year, or the year before, for Poplar Point Camp (it's the camp I go to every summer) and the theme was "catalyst". I really am beginning to like that idea more and more as I see the changes that God is making in my life and others. I see a change brewing in Toccoa and it will be a change for the better. As I have said before..."Here am I Lord, do what you will." I know that is going to get me in trouble, but I DON'T CARE!!

Gee willikers, do you think this post is long enough? Haha, I guess I need to call it quits for now. I got out a lot of thoughts and well, you poor people have to read all the way through it. I will be nice to my readers and end here. Thanks for reading through it all btw, that is impressive, and lets me know I'm loved. KTHXBYE!!

"Let's start a riot, a riot,
Let's start a riot!!"
- Three Days Grace

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