It is only Tuesday and already this week has been insanely busy. I had a project due today that I finished last night, and then of course there was a recital at 7:30, and then there is tomorrow... I am helping a friend out, and then Thursday might be a little relaxed, and finally Friday I have two recitals I have to attend in one day. One is a general student recital (GSR) and then another one later that day when the string orchestra plays. I don't know how I'm gonna make it through this week without going insane, but by the grace of God. I'm exhausted, haha. I should go to bed, but writing is a form of catharsis, and well, by golly I need a good cathartic experience right now, haha.
So yesterday... well technically Monday, I played a song I wrote in front of people for the first time ever. I mean there is playing in front of friends, and then there is playing in front of people... this was the latter. I was glad to do it, because a friend asked me to do so since she was giving her senior testimony, but still, I don't think I have ever been as nervous on stage as I was then. But it is in the past, and many people said "thanks" and "good job"... you know the 'ol "atta boy" kinda thing, but I give it all to God... after all, the song was written for worship anyway.
It seems my friends are constantly going through hardships, and I feel bad for them because they never seem to stop. I know that God is growing them, but still it is never fun to experience, or to watch someone experience something that is just so frustrating, or sorrowful that they are weeping. I have had a couple of friends do this lately, and all I can do is pray and hope that all will pass well in the end. I know that God has them in His hand, and I know that His ways are best, so I put my hope in Him who loves such a mess like humanity. People are people, and well... we just got to learn to get along.
Some friends are making life changing commitments, some are deciding what to do with their lives, some are trying to fight through a rocky relationship, hoping that they will reach the end of the tunnel and it will all be OK, and then there are some who are just not doing well. To all my friends I offer my hand of service. How may I pray for you? How can I help you? These are things I constantly think in my mind as I witness the pain go around like a chain reaction. It almost creates a wall of fire around me, and I fear that it would take my heart within its clutches. I don't mind facing struggles, but at the same time... I just don't like them. But I suppose that is just one more thing to look forward to when I enter the eternal realm.
So I have mentioned my thoughts about stuff, and going into any more detail would be too revealing I believe, and I don't want to expose something that is personal to another. So I'm done, kbye and goodnight.